After years and years of torture and learned helplessness, I easily give up in despair at the slightest setback. The lawnmower guy cancelled our meeting about the bookkeeper job. I sent him an email asking when he would like to reschedule, but actually, I had already given up. I 'knew' that he 'actually meant' that he didn't want me anymore and that he had found someone else and was cancelling forever and would never speak to me again.
However, this morning, I went to my email, and he had written back to me to reschedule our meeting for real.
So I have to continue making a prolonged effort, without giving up, to learn what I need to learn for the informal, self-employed bookkeeping job that I am making myself do.
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