roots growing deep underground

i had a bad contamination hit last night and it was very difficult to troubleshoot. i still don't entirely understand what the drug was or how it got to the location it was in. i was very sick for hours, with my heart pounding very badly. eventually i figured out the problem and fixed it, and afterwards i fell asleep pretty quickly.

something really weird happened this morning.

when i woke up, i knew i was definitely drugged - although it was probably my own stuff from the contamination - because i felt awake and motivated, which is extremely unusual. motivation is something that doesn't usually happen to me. if i fall asleep, and then wake up motivated and able to perform tasks, it usually means the drug was the old 'mellow' variety of st. john's wort, the one that acts as a sedative and makes you fall asleep.

well, anyway, i was motivated to do gardening. i had some pots that i wanted to fill with forest soil. i don't want to use the commercial vermiculite stuff with the N-P-K minerals. i think it doesn't have enough micronutrients, things like chromium and selenium. anyway, that's not important. what happened was, i went up to fill the pots and set them in the location i chose.

i had recently gone to visit my pot of st. john's wort, and found that it had been sprayed with herbicide. it's still alive, but a bunch of its leaves got splashed and they're all brown and spotty. other weeds nearby were also sprayed. it was an accident. i had it next to the maintenance road in a place that i thought wouldn't get sprayed. but apparently that spot was within the weeding area that they do. so i moved it up into the woods to a totally different place.

it's a spot under the power lines where a lot of trees are cut down and the sun shines through. it might get enough light there, and it shouldn't get sprayed by anybody, hopefully, although that's the same thing i thought last time.

i now have four pots up there. one: sjw from germany, a year old, in commercial vermiculite potting soil. two: new sjw seeds, germany, in forest soil. three: german chamomile, forest soil. four: roman chamomile, forest soil. chamomile is one of the mildest, safest herbal drugs. it's so mild, it's almost a placebo. it's so mild, it really doesn't even do very much. but i've only tried drinking chamomile tea, and i've never handled fresh growing chamomile. chances are, the fresh plants will be stronger. they will probably NOT be 'just like a placebo.' DON'T eat chamomile: it will cause an extremely severe, life-threatening allergic reaction that makes your throat close up and you stop breathing. you will go into anaphylactic shock. it's similar to other plants in that family, i think the daisy family, that people are allergic to. if you only just get a little of it, you'll just sneeze and have allergies. i started sneezing the first time i opened the seed packet, and apparently, some kind of powder got on my shirt, because i started sneezing every time i put on that shirt again (when the shirt hadn't been washed yet). and all i did was open the seed packet. this is a familiar phenomenon by now: merely handling seed packets, merely touching the envelopes they're in, is able to cause a contamination accident. if you ever grow herbs, you'd need a greenhouse or someplace elsewhere, away from your house, where the seeds could be delivered. it's extremely dangerous to handle any medicinal seeds at all in your own home! this is VERY IMPORTANT for all anarchists or any other people who are defying the government's war on drugs.

anyway, here's the weird thing. several nights ago i had a vision. i dismissed it as a 'metaphor' instead of a literal vision. everyone knows by now that i interpret these visions as being sent to me by a human being using some technological method.

so i had already put my pot of sjw up in the woods, and of course, i'm always cautious not to allow the plants to escape from the pot. it's a nuisance plant from europe and wasn't meant to grow in the usa. it's toxic to grazing livestock. they don't know any better, and they'll just eat an entire plant of sjw and then get extremely sick (if they're cows) or drop dead (if they're rabbits or anything small). you DON'T want to ever eat green leaves of sjw. i once ate a single leaf - just one - and thought i would have to go to the hospital. i never did that again. you don't even need to eat it. you can either inhale the vapors from one or two crushed leaves, or you can grind it up and mix it with oil - very very very very very very diluted! - so diluted, you'd think NOTHING was left in that oil - and then put a tiny, single drop of it on your skin. when you start feeling like you're about to throw up, then wipe off the oil with a disposable paper towel, and wash your skin.

(how odd, that years ago i strongly advocated no drugs at all. and the battle to convince me to try sjw - the battle i had, a long drawn-out battle with voices in my head, arguing with me, and eventually i was persuaded. and with great reluctance i found that that i could do things i wasn't able to do before. but the dangers are so severe, that if your life is going okay, if you aren't wallowing in total hopelessness like i was, unable to get anywhere, unable to accomplish anything at all, totally stuck, then you shouldn't use anything at all... and if you did, it would be important to know all of the knowledge and experience that i have about the dangers... and doctors won't bother telling you that stuff. and if you buy over-the-counter herbal pills, every brand name, and every batch, is different from every other. st. john's wort can either cause extreme insomnia, or hypersomnia (too much sleeping). it can either cause erectile dysfunction and anorgasmia, or it can cause nymphomania. and it all depends on the details of how the plants are handled, the particular drugs in them. and the bottles you buy don't tell you any details. if you try to grow your own, to guarantee that you get exactly what you want - which is why i started growing my own - then few people know about obscure, technical subjects, like volatile vapors settling on surfaces, and transdermal absorption. so i had absolutely NO WARNING that this might happen. and a contamination accident is SO HARD TO CLEAN UP that you have to throw away hundreds, or thousands, of dollars worth of your belongings after an accident, which is what i endured through all of 2007. it's the reason why i could not wash laundry - my house was so contaminated, all of my clothing would get toxic, and i had to simply throw it in the garbage, because washing it made it WORSE. clothes washers conserve water, so they just slosh the same toxic water all over the REST of your semi-clean clothes, ruining them all at once in one big batch. so i would purchase new clothes at goodwill (goodwill kicks ass! they're the best clothing store in the universe! 25 cents an item, during the summer. all the cool people shop at goodwill.) and wear them until they were toxic, and then throw them in the garbage and buy more. i needed disposable clothing made of paper. this is the worst disaster i have ever experienced in my whole life. this is why i can't do anything spontaneous - it's very difficult to obtain clean clothes. i usually have to go out and buy a new outfit if i want to go anywhere or do anything. my friends from work have tried to call me to hang out with them and they say it's like pulling teeth trying to get me to go anywhere.)

so i'm extremely paranoid that the plants might escape and start growing in the outside soil. to me, this would be a frightening disaster, because it would be very hard to eradicate the plant. and then anytime you walked through that area you'd get hit by it. innocent people wouldn't understand what was happening to them, because they don't know about transdermal herbal drugs or volatile vapors.

when someone is mowing the lawn and they suddenly drop dead of a heart attack or stroke, it might be because they mowed a poisonous weed, such as poison hemlock, or a cardiac glycoside plant, like foxglove, or butterfly weed, or milkweed. the mowed-down plant will spray vapors everywhere and the person won't have any idea what happened. they'd be walking around in it, possibly touching it directly, and breathing it. this would be especially bad if you were already on some other drug that interacted badly with the plant poison. everyone believes that person dropped dead because they were exercising too hard, but it was actually plant poison from weeds. these plants produce recognizable symptoms. when i handled butterfly weed, it made my heart pound hard, and it speeded up, and i had chest pains (angina).

so in this vision, i saw st. john's wort growing up in the woods, and it was free, not inside a pot. and i saw the roots going down way, way deep into the soil. i felt conflicting feelings. i was afraid, because i really want to avoid letting an invasive weed get loose. i didn't know if it was my fault. i also felt a kind of 'cheer for the underdog' feeling, like the plant was happy and free and natural, not stuck inside a pot like those other trapped plants. the way you'd feel if the fish inside a fish tank escaped back into the ocean, like in Finding Nemo. it's true, i feel sorry for potted plants, but you have to draw the line somewhere! if i felt sorry for every little thing, i could not take a step without squashing a piece of bacteria or something. so i tolerate potted plants. so this was a free plant of sjw, growing loose.

well, i took this as a metaphor. most of the images are not literal. they have double meanings, which are usually (but not always) insulting, or sexual. i believed that this image was something sexual, probably talking about pregnancy, like letting the plant grow outside and letting it reproduce out in the world is analogous to having children.

well, it was literal. when i was up there setting up my pots, arranging them in the beam of sunlight, i wandered over to a fallen tree, and started walking along it. i glanced down and there was a recognizable plant growing right underneath the fallen tree on the downhill side, in a bare patch of soil. it looked a little bit like a clover, but the leaves alternated in a right-angle cross shape. i always look for that familiar cross shape of clover-like leaves. two leaves 180 degrees apart on the stem, and underneath that, two more leaves 'phase-shifted' 90 degrees around the stem, and from above, it's a cross.

its shape was a little bit different from my plants. the leaves were slightly longer. the overall style was just a little bit different. but out of curiosity, i looked closer. (i was smart enough not to touch it.) a dry twig stuck up in the middle of the plant, which indicates that it was last year's dead stem, dried up and left over from wintertime. so it has been there since before winter. and it's flowering! i've never seen one flowering. sjw is a perennial that flowers in its second year. i was still skeptical - it had to be an ordinary weed of some kind that just happened to have a similar cross pattern. so i looked very, very closely at the leaves. and they were covered in black dots! those black dots are the 'perforations' that give this species the name 'hypericum perforatum.' the black dots are a unique, unmistakable, telltale feature. i just couldn't believe it.

i have never encountered wild-growing sjw before. my eyes are attuned to look for it at a glance. out of habit, my eyes skim the textures of weed leaves as i walk past them. i notice quickly if there's an unusual leaf pattern. i've always wondered if it appeared anywhere in pennsylvania, and i've read about places where it's a major problem, in livestock grazing areas, in places where the soil is ideal for that plant and it grows very strongly and is hard to eradicate. but i've never run across it.

i can't be responsible for that being there. i have never had any plants anywhere near that location. any plants that i grew were hundreds of feet away. i grew a pot of it on my porch a couple years ago, and then, this year, i've been growing a single pot of it way, way, way down the road, like a football field away from that location. it's been there at least all winter.

the plant can only result from human habitation. it doesn't live in the united states. it appears because of settlers from long ago, or from somebody recently planting it. but it's in such a weird, inconvenient spot, almost buried under the edge of the fallen tree. i can't imagine anybody putting a single plant there, all by itself, deliberately.

also, none of my plants ever flowered yet. i haven't been growing this for many years, and i had a batch that i accidentally killed. so i had to start over. so i can't say that maybe a bird swallowed one of the seeds and carried it up into the woods, because my plants didn't seed. i really have no explanation for its being there.

i assume that somebody else looked at that location and saw that plant, and sent me a message about it. maybe somebody knows who put it there. again, i don't understand the technology and physics behind these things. i know there is an explanation, and i also know that these explanations are very important. i know it's important to NEVER dismiss them as 'supernatural' or 'beyond our ability to understand.' everything that happens in the universe must obey the laws of physics. nothing can be above the laws of reality. that's my 'psychic phenomena' lecture for the day.

i read once that there is a technology used by the government to search for marijuana plants, or any other drug plant, hidden in messy places like forests. they fly over an area with a helicopter or something. they shine a special light down on it, or maybe all they do is analyze the normal light being reflected off the plants. i don't remember if it's infrared, or visible light, or something else. supposedly, each plant has a unique signature, and they interpret what they see. (oh no! i have poison ivy on my hand. damn it. i just noticed that. you want something REALLY fun and exciting? try a poison ivy contamination all over your house! i already did that quite a few years ago.) supposedly each plant reflects light at a particular frequency. or else, the light left over, after all the other light has been absorbed, is a particular frequency. each plant is unique. they can see a patch of specific plants surrounded by a big mess of other plants, even if it would be hard to notice them with the naked eye. it requires a computer to interpret the image. i don't recall any details of the technology.

well, i saw it with my own eyes - it's a wild-growing st. john's wort right near the place i chose for my pots. i think i will just leave the plant alone, and keep an eye on it. there were at least two sprigs of new growth, from runners, appearing underneath it. it will eventually spread out. but there isn't much chance of livestock grazing there anytime soon.