another disclaimer

I'm supposed to give another disclaimer here. People would want to know why I am in a fouler-than-usual mood in the last couple days. I have been really nauseated and feeling sick in general on and off for two or three days and I don't know if I just have a virus or what. There is nothing like nausea to make me write grouchy, hate-filled, long speeches.

What happens is that I usually manage to bottle up my feelings instead of expressing them. They're still there and everything I wrote about was true and this really has been going on all this time, but normally I would just kind of go along pretending everything was okay.

The time I got thrown into the mental hospital, I learned one thing. It is: You can talk about almost any 'crazy' subject at all, no matter how crazy, and they won't necessarily lock you up - UNLESS you show signs of intense emotional distress. If you talk about 'crazy' subjects and you seem to not really care, if you seem to be talking in a neutral way, if you talk about it as a vague abstraction, they ignore you. But if you talk about anything, and show signs of emotion, and say anything that suggests 'IMMEDIATE ACTION!' then they'll lock you up. If you make it sound like you're going to run out and do something right this very instant, they get you. But if all you're doing is complaining in a vague way without any particular direction, as if you don't care much, they ignore you.

So, for that reason, I have to re-bottle-up all the complaints that I have made and pretend that they don't really matter that much, and I have to mention that normally I wouldn't be so hate-filled except that I'm really not feeling well. And that is actually true, I really have been sick and nauseated for the past couple days and seem to be fighting an illness. It lowers my resistance to complaining.