no two-day weekends

I've had a lousy couple of weeks. My work schedule hasn't been the way I want it to be. I haven't had my two days off in a row, because they needed me to help on the day that they did inventory, and there was a health inspection, and just one thing after another. I haven't heard from McDonald's, although I've talked to several different people there, all of whom said to me that I've UNofficially been hired, and it just needs to become official.

My spyware-infested computer is now so slow I can barely surf the internet, as all my bandwidth and processing power is being used by somebody else for their own purposes instead of my own. This is a major cleanup project that I need to do and haven't had time for, along with everything else.

Another situation has been going on and I still wonder whether emails/phone calls are being lost or redirected somehow. I still get 'voices' every day trying to convince me to believe this or that, trying to make me do stuff, go places. I know from years of experience, I know all about 'Learned Helplessness.' The slightest obstacle gets in your way, and you give up, because years of experience have shown you that no matter what you do, it won't work. So I get voices trying to tell me: write a note on paper, go to this or that location, say this or that, make another phone call, send another email, etc. I know that all of those things won't work. I have done all of this before; I recognize the pattern.

This won't help, but I'll say it anyway. I'm NOT trying to make anybody apologize. I just want to understand what has been going on. If anybody wants to apologize, they can, but then again, for all I know, somebody else might think that I owe THEM an apology. I won't know anything until some actual communication occurs. My goal is to treat this person as I myself would want to be treated, and I'm not believing any of the crap that 'they' tell me about him. Or TRYING not to. Sometimes you can't help believing the stuff they make you believe. You can't know much about somebody when you've only had a very small number of conversations with that person.

I'm not looking forward to today. If my hives get any worse, I'm going to have to explain to every person I meet 'Yes, that is correct, I do have hives all over me.' It's almost like walking around wearing a cast and using crutches. You have to tell the same story over and over again.