a fellow sufferer may have fallen.

i subscribe to aussietargetted's weblog.  she was having a lot of really severe problems recently.

(damn it, i accidentally screwed up and lost this draft - i never type directly onto the page - i went and tried to click on a menu which i expected would be a drop-down box, but instead it started to go directly to that page.)

there was another blog, 'electronicabuse.wordpress.com,' where the person (a different person, not aussie) was having a lot of really severe problems and then suddenly her blog started saying it was 'protected' and you couldn't log in to it.  now aussietargetted's weblog is saying the same thing.  and she was having a lot of chemical problems in her house - she said something was making her really, really sick in there.

she was so far away, i couldn't do anything - i wish i could have met her in person, but i am already struggling just to barely get by, myself.

i can still find aussietargetted (with two t's) on google, in the cached version of the pages.

when this happens, i wonder if the person has committed suicide, or died from some other cause, or whether somebody isolated them from the internet, or isolated everybody else from seeing them.  it's possible to mess with people's connection to the internet and she might not know that anything is wrong - she might not know that her blog is no longer accessible.   but i don't think that's what happened.

whenever a person has chemical problems or health problems, it makes it much harder to endure harassment.  aussie was getting both.  in that kind of situation, where the person is already sick, the attacks seem to be much crueler, much worse.  in my experience, they behave as though they want to help me, but they are also much more abusive when things are going wrong in my life.  they don't like it when there are things they have no control over.  that's been my observation.

if something goes wrong, if your life has a problem, and they DIDN'T cause it to happen, they sort of 'kick you when you're down.'  but when they do this to me, i always feel that they are anxious, terrified, that they wish i would get angry at them, and it reminds me of how, if somebody falls down unconscious, and you're trying to resuscitate them, and they don't wake up, you might attack them and hit them really hard and scream at them, trying to wake them up, but they don't wake up, and you get angry.

i found this on google:

aussietargetted's Profile
[ currently offline ]
• Name: Judith Lesue
• Birthday: 31/12/1969 (Age: 39)

Entries Written: 0 entries
Comments Written: 0 comments
Signup Date: March 15, 2008
Last Login: April 23, 2008

it's from a different website, but i'm sure it's the same person.  i never googled her before.

i am not suicidal and am nowhere near that, not even close.  i have a lot of financial help from my parents, and a few close friends who i can talk to.  my family knows about my mental experiences, although they don't believe it's real - they think it's a mental illness - but i am not having problems with them and i don't feel as though i've been isolated from my family.

most of my problems are caused by chemical sensitivity, environmental illness, chronic fatigue, etc, and while the mental harassment adds to the problems, it isn't the main cause of everything.  'they' do not cause all of the problems in the world, and they don't control everything.  they might kick you when you're down, and i'm not saying it's okay, but sometimes they too have psychological motivations for why they are attacking and abusing someone, and, like i said, i've observed that the attacks get worst whenever something in my life has gone wrong, something 'they' have no control over, something they can't help me with, and they're trying to get me to do something about it.  for instance, i had a bad cold one time, where i had a high fever, and the attacks were really severe and abusive, and they pretended that they were the ones causing me to get sick and feverish, but in reality, it wasn't their fault.  and i wish that during those times, they would leave me alone, but they don't, and it makes it worse.  i think the same kind of thing was going on with aussie.

i do not want to condone the attacks.  but i want to explain that the attackers are human, and the things that they do always have some kind of motivation.