martin and the parallel universe, continued

'martin and the parallel universe theory' - i wrote a previous post with that title. it means that he has mistaken beliefs and assumptions, or disinformation, causing him to do things that don't match with the same reality that i see. it implies that he is isolated or separated, by not being able to communicate directly with me. we can't match the facts and say 'you said this, you did that,' 'no i didn't,' etc. i have no idea what he is thinking, experiencing, assuming, or trying to accomplish.

the ultimate mistaken assumption: something along the lines of 'nicole isn't human' or 'nicole's feelings don't matter' or 'it's okay to hurt someone really, really badly, and disrespect them and lie to them and manipulate them, for a really long time.' something like that.

but usually the 'parallel universe theory' is intended to make him NOT look like an asshole. it's intended to say 'some kind of miscommunication is occurring or a malicious third party is interfering.' to avoid believing that he would do these things deliberately and consciously, for the purpose of hurting people.

so, after the rejected facebook friend request:

i got voices telling me that he said yes, but a third party interfered and hacked facebook, but for some reason martin thought facebook wasn't hackable, or something like that. they said 'you were accepted.'

there is now a bunch of chaos, different voices making theories as to who did what, and why. 'this is just another step in some kind of strategy game that he's playing,' etc. 'he's using you to make some other girl like him,' 'this is all a big joke.' etc.

also, the theory 'he doesn't believe that you really hear voices.' and doesn't believe that the voices told me all of the information i had. instead he assumes that I'M spying on computers, which i don't. i could learn how to do it, i could download the programs to do it, and i have consciously avoided doing that. i would rather not get into the habit of spying on people's computers, especially when other hackers are competing in the same territory and possibly counter-hacking or manipulating data and playing mind games with people.

another voice said that he tried to call me on the phone, but i hung up on him. i don't know if that's a joke with a double meaning, or if it's meant as a literal statement. 'having hangups' is the non-literal 'joke' meaning of it.

i don't know what happens whenever i am forced awake all night long, then briefly forced asleep for a half hour or so, then forced awake again for the rest of the night, which has been happening a lot lately. i have been getting almost no sleep at all. during that brief time of being forced asleep, i could be talking on the telephone, or doing anything at all, and not know that i'm doing it.

if i had a conversation with him, i'd like to keep a videocamera running. that way we could watch it later and verify that, indeed, we both actually did say this or that. i used to have the videocamera running in my apartment and i got rid of it, which was forced. it's something i really need to have.

'this is all a joke.' who is the joke on? on me? on martin? i don't find it to be much of a joke. the couple of times when i've seen martin, and tried to speak to him (about mundane things having to do with work) i could not get him to even speak a sentence to me, not even about normal things, not even a 'yes or no' monosyllable type of answer.

what does he believe is happening?

after the rejected facebook request, voices were sarcastically saying, 'they might, omg, CHAT or something! or compare scores on quizzes, heaven forbid! or ask each other which superhero characters they are!' in other words, being a facebook friend is trivial and should be no big deal.