Friday, May 15, 2009
the spam comments problem
it's embarrassing to approve a comment that was originally sent to the spam folder. i don't know how akismet works, and i don't know if it ever creates 'false positives.' i worry that i'm going to delete a comment from a real person because it was accidentally sent to the spam comments section. then i might later find out that the same exact comment appeared on fifty million blogs that same day. ... oh well. i have several other 'spam' comments that i approved. but at least the spammers are saying nice things.
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5 comments:
Heya
Hope you're doing well..
I read about you having multiple personalities, and I didn't quite understand? Do you have MPD? I have tried to understand from past blogs, but I still seem to be lost?
Well, this is hard to answer. Yes, a doctor might diagnose me with MPD. But it looks like MPD is more extreme than what I experience. Mine is very mild. I read that MPD sufferers forget blocks of time - they blank out and can't remember doing something when they were in the other personality. That doesn't happen to me.
I experience a couple things: hearing voices (all day and all night long), talking back to them and having mental conversations with them, and feeling like somebody else is controlling me and forcing me to say or do things, while I'm still conscious. It's like having another personality. But I interpret it as being caused by an attack from somebody outside myself - it's not me at all, it's from somebody else entirely.
I am more in the 'tinfoil hat' category, and interpret my experiences as being caused by electronic weapons (microwaves, radio frequency, sonic weapons, etc). But when I feel controlled by someone, or when I'm talking to one of the voices, I call it a 'persona' sometimes (like another personality) because it's easier to say.
:) I see you survived exam week, by the way. Hope that went okay.
Ohh.
Right. That explains things alot.
I hope you get better soon. Is there a way that you can fix it?
I'm still going through the exam "month"
Fucked up I swear. Gonna end on 12th of June. Bloody worried, esp. since I didn't study for TWO of the exams tomorrow, and I'm sick. Gah.
The outer forces attacking, do you think it could be black magic since in our culture we do believe that stuff exists.
And what's the case with Dennis and Martin? It feels good to talkt o you btw =)
I like talking to you too. :)
I can't do much to fix the unwanted voices/attacks at the moment. Drugs usually make things much worse, so I use them as little as possible.
Hang in there with exams... I remember I had trouble studying for exams too when I was in school.
I wondered about black magic, when the attacks first began, and I also wondered about psychic abilities, demons, and ghosts, and things like that. But there's always the question: how does it work? I'm interested in the science behind it, the explanation of how it happens, because I believe I have a better chance of solving the problem that way. I tried fighting back, by trying to use psychic powers and magic, in the beginning, and I tried to treat it like it was a problem with ghosts/demons/etc, but it didn't work, and I needed to know more. So that is why I focus on the technical and scientific side of it.
I thought I should write a page explaining who all of the various people are, and what's the story behind them. I started talking about these people because I couldn't talk to them directly. I feel like people don't listen to me, don't believe me, don't want to do what I ask them to do, etc. If something bothers me in a relationship, I usually tolerate it instead of asking somebody to change what they're doing... unless it's a really, really big problem, and then, I can ask, but it takes a lot of courage and preparation. It's not easy. So I complain in my blog whenever I'm not ready to talk directly to the people I have problems with.
Dennis: a guy I met when he was a customer at the grocery store where I work. We started chatting when I complained about how hard it was to make a pizza for him because I couldn't find any of the ingredients. Eventually I gave him my phone number and email, because I have been very isolated and I need to make friends in this town (I've lived here since 1997, but I hardly know anybody.) I like him as a 'friend' but I'm not attracted to him physically, so that is causing some of the problems we have.
Martin: a co-worker at my store. Not sure where this relationship is going! We're not speaking to each other, and haven't spoken for months, but he gives me confusing signals as though something is wrong and he would like to talk to me, but he can't, or something, and I don't really know why. I'm being patient and I know it will be okay, even if I never really understand what happened and why he stopped talking to me. But I still get 'voices' in my head talking about him and urging me to say things to him, which causes problems, and I get scared that he will do something, like call the police or put me in a mental hospital.
There are other people I talk about sometimes too, because over the past few months, I suddenly tried meeting people and making friends (online and in person) and now there are too many guys trying to call me, and I don't really KNOW any of them. I haven't even met some of these people. There are too many new people at once and it's stressful. So I'm sort of dragging my feet and not really doing anything with them (no real 'dates') and just emailing instead. ... while I worry about getting moved into a new apartment. Guys are pressuring me to have sex or have a dating relationship, so it's been easier for me to talk to women instead... less stressful. I would like to find a husband soon, but 'dating' is very difficult.
thanks for asking...
Hey Retmeishka,
Your problems seem pretty understandable, although nothing I've ever seen before.
Let me tell you something, I genuinely like talking to you, and I am interested in hearing what you have to say. So you can talk to me anytime. Hence I was wondering if you have yahoo or hotmail? Then after june 12th I'll be a lot free and we can chat up or something.
So Dennis and Martin, let me be honest, I've skimmed through the posts quite a lot to understand any of them, but hopefully I'll be reading in much more detail to get a track of your life and then we can talk more about it.
On the dating friend, I've never dated. Nor interested. I'm waiting for Mr. Right. I believe that love comes to you, that love is something that just happens. I'm waiting for my Mr. Right. I don't look for love anymore, although I've cried about a million times just waiting for love to sweep me up in its arms. It hurts to be alone, to be unheard.
You said that you worry about being sent to the mental hospital...
I actually don't have much knowledge about black magic, but my religion, Islam, we have a lot of information about that.
My mom was suffering from it too, from a very strong source of black magic, and our religious clerk recited verses from our Holy Book on her, and she got much, much better. She used to be super cranky and always angry, so much so that I started fearing coming home because she would get really angry and upset. And her health was deteriorating horribly. But after those few sessions, she's been healed so much more. And she's so much calmer and calculated.
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