Dating Rules

4:18 PM 8/3/10

Dating Rules

1. Be safe. Follow your instincts and avoid doing anything uncomfortable.
2. Be respectful. Be respected.
3. Be compassionate: try to understand why this person needs you.

Serial killers often kill people that they call 'prostitutes,' although, from what I've read, those people are usually homeless women, not necessarily prostitutes, and they called them prostitutes just to dehumanize them and to feel less guilty about killing them.

Disrespect: I don't want to be disrespected. I'm not a drug addict, so I'm not desperate for huge amounts of money. Therefore, I can set boundaries and I can make rules about what I will and will not do. I don't have to tolerate disrespect.

I always fought with my previous boyfriends, telling them NOT to pay for me when we went out to dinner. And I would try to pay for them instead. And I fought with them NOT to give me gifts, either. Eric always used to say, 'It's better to give than to receive,' and my feeling about that was, 'Exactly!' It's a way of making yourself better than someone else.

Don't rudely reject money. I've offered money before and had my heart broken when it was refused. It's what you do when you're desperate. It's painful to have your money rejected outright. It's the only thing that makes you feel like you have any power at all, anything to offer at all, when you have nothing.

I have never accepted money before, other than, for instance, guys paying for my meals, often without my consent, as it happened to me twice whenever I insisted that I would pay for my own meal, and the guy sneaked and paid for it anyway, and it was going to be a fight to make him *not* pay for it. Other than that kind of thing, and being given gifts after I explicitly told my ex-boyfriend several times *not* to buy me any gifts and he bought them anyway, and I warned him that I didn't buy gifts for people and that I would not buy him any gifts in return, only to have a fight later on because he was hurt whenever I didn't buy him any gifts for his birthday or Christmas - after I *told* him that I never bought gifts for anyone!

The fact that I've never accepted money before, and I cried about the idea of it, after talking to someone on the phone, made the voices say to me, 'Virgin.' It's something I've never done before. So I am a virgin to that particular thing.  (But I didn't cry just about the money.  I cried about the idea of spending time with men that I don't like.  It hurts to be with people I'm not sexually attracted to.)

Marriage is a prostitution monopoly. It means that a man pays you to stop seeing other men, and see only him. He pays you a large amount of money, every month, for the rest of your life. Child support, on the other hand, is when you keep paying a large amount of money, every month, for a certain number of years, like 16 years or so, for having, at least, *one* sexual encounter that resulted in pregnancy. So you don't even get the monopoly on her, and she's allowed to see other men, and if you don't pay the bill (for nothing, since you can't have sex with her anymore, usually) you go to jail. And 'everyone knows' that the child support money isn't needed for the child. It's usually WAY more than the minimum needed for the child, and it's calculated based on how much money the father makes, not how much the child and the mother need. Child support is... don't get me started!

There are things that I *don't* like. I don't like to be dominated in the wrong way by the wrong person; but yet, I've imagined scenarios where the right person could dominate me in the right way, and I would enjoy it. I've had bad experiences in the past where somebody talked down to me and dominated me in a way that I didn't like. It makes me feel angry. If I have angry vibes from someone, or condescending vibes, it will be hard for me to get along with them.

There are a few things that I am in danger of. I could become cynical and feel like sex is nothing. I could feel like sex isn't special. I'm not actually having sex with anyone yet, but eventually, I probably will. I don't know how someone could feel that sex was special if they were having sex with men they didn't love. You would have to somehow distinguish between the feelings of love that you have for special people, versus the type of sex you have with people who are paying you. I've never done that before, so I don't know how it would feel.

As for me, I got offered money merely to let someone pet my fur. That's what it's there for, so I don't necessarily even have to 'have sex' for real. Petting might be enough.

I won't be kissing anyone on the mouth, or any other body parts that are able to let germs in. I might be willing to kiss unbroken skin. I can't kiss people because I have some kind of herpes-like symptoms, even though I tried to get a doctor to do a test for it, and he told me the test came back negative, but that's wrong: the symptoms are real, even if the test says I don't have herpes. I get small cold sores around my mouth - they look like small pimples, but I can tell that's not what they are - and sometimes on my tongue. I also get spots on the back of my neck, and on the bottom part of my tailbone just above my butt, but that hardly ever happens, and it's only happened a couple of times. I call it herpes because that's the only explanation I have for it, and it happens when I catch a cold, just like other cold sores.

I've read about herpes, and they say that *both* kinds of herpes, or all kinds, or whatever, can appear on *both* the genitals *and* the mouth. Even if you supposedly have 'oral' herpes, it's able to appear on your genitals or get transmitted there or however it gets there. So I will not kiss or have saliva contact with anything that's able to catch germs from me. That will be reserved for my long-term bonds, people who love me so much that they would be willing to share my cold sores with me. (One of my most exciting 'bonding' moments with Curtis occurred one day when he showed me his cold sore in his mouth, and I told him that I get them too - although technically, I might have a different variation of the virus than he does. So I am still cautious.)

Marriage wouldn't be marriage if it didn't involve money and other life necessities, like food and housing. Usually, the man pays the woman to live in his house, rent-free, and she cooks the food and cleans the house and has sex with him and gives him love and intimacy. She doesn't have to pay for the food either. He pays all the bills. That is a traditional marriage. There is something good about that, which is, the mother can stay home and breastfeed. People stopped breastfeeding because they were so desperate to pay the bills, that both parents had to work, because the cost of living has gone up, and up, and up, and the rent is too high, and the taxes are too high, and people are losing their jobs. Then they forgot that there was any reason to breastfeed, so people kept on feeding them formula and they were taught that that's just how it's done around here.

Breastfeeding prevents obesity. It increases a child's intelligence. It teaches the child how to feel loved and how to feel close and intimate with other people. It teaches the child how to touch. It teaches the child how to feel sexually intimate, and how it feels to give and receive pleasure at the same time. It prevents health problems. It prevents food allergies. Breastfeeding is absolutely essential. So it's a good thing when a man pays a woman to stay home when she's raising the kids, because it enables her to breastfeed instead of working. That wouldn't be a problem if the workplaces would allow you to strap your baby onto your body while you do your job, and bring it with you, and breastfeed it freely at work whenever you needed to.

But if both parents are financially independent, and they're choosing to save the planet by refusing to have children and refusing to increase the population, and they haven't read any books by Julian Simon, then, there's no reason to get married and fill out the piece of paper. The piece of paper has to mean something to you. It means that the government and the church have approved of your bond. But if you reject the government (as I do), and if you reject the church (as I do), then you don't *want* their approval for your spiritual bonds. That piece of paper would be there to enforce the law if you wanted to get money and property from somebody. It's hard to understand why you want the piece of paper if you have no respect for the government or the church, and if you're not intending to use force to take money and property and children away from someone.

About my body hair *not* being unique: My body hair resulted from my following a set of rules. The rules can be followed by anybody. There is nothing unique about this at all. I am always insisting, when the voices ask me about it, that my body hair is *not* special, although it is scarce and rare, and people don't usually choose to follow that set of rules.

I want my hair to be less scarce and less unique: I want to see huge numbers of other women doing the same thing I'm doing, following the same set of rules. I want to see a world where there is *less* competition for this particular thing. I'm not afraid that that would 'put me out of a job.' I want less scarcity, not more scarcity.

I'm still not ready to call these people back yet, but there will be a call very soon. ... I can't stand people. I can't stand talking on the phone. I can't stand men. I can't love anyone. I can't love. I can't do this. I can't date people. I can't meet people. I can't talk to people.