I hate songs about abusive relationships

There was one song that I already knew I hated:  'You gotta be cruel to be kind.'  I *HATE* that song and I get angry every time I hear it.  Now I have another new one that I hate.  I started noticing Eminem because one day Curtis was listening to him a few weeks ago, and then Carrie commented about Eminem on her facebook page.  So I listened to one of his songs online and I'm noticing them on the radio when I never paid attention to him before.  'I love the way you lie' made me angry.  There will be people who listen to that song and they will swear to me that it OPPOSES abusive relationships and it's supposed to be saying abusive relationships are a bad thing, but they can say that all they want, and I will still get the impression, from hearing the song, that it GLORIFIES an abusive relationship.  'Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that's all right because I like the way it hurts.'  I don't want to hear anybody saying that they like the way it hurts.  I've been there.  I was forced against my will, for several years, to continue writing emails to a sick, messed-up person who I met in a chatroom, who just 'sat there' and 'watched me burn' without doing anything about it, for several YEARS, while somebody used electronic mind control to force me to send him hundreds of letters, humiliate myself, and suffer, while he could not even say a single word to me.

And now I have voices who have been saying that I'm 'playing games' with Curtis, when in fact, I am very badly hurt by things that he has said to me in text messages, and there is no such thing as 'playing games.'  People are always real, no matter who they are and no matter what they're doing.  You might not be able to understand them, but they are always real.  People have feelings and they DON'T like the way it hurts.  You can 'get away with' doing anything to anybody if you tell yourself that that person is a masochist who enjoys getting hurt.  Most people are not masochists.  They don't like to be hurt.  And even masochists only want to get hurt in certain ways in certain situations, but not all the time and not in every possible way.  They have specific ways that they like to be hurt.  And, as I said, I'm not a masochist anyway.  I don't like to be hurt.

So that song might be saying that the problems in their relationship are a bad thing, but it doesn't sound that way when you hear some woman singing that she likes the way it hurts and she loves the way you lie.

I haven't seen Curtis enough this week.  Our schedules are both messed up.  They're cutting hours, and I think they might have made a mistake with mine next week and I have to talk to the manager about it.  We hardly saw each other at all.  I couldn't look at him much, although I did a little bit, and we said a few things to each other, briefly.  He called me my nickname, though I told him to stop doing that, in a text message.  I didn't want to tell him to stop doing it, and I was being controlled when I wrote that, but nevertheless, I did send that message to him.  He said it once, when he was with Stan, and I wondered what Stan was thinking, but he said it to me anyway.  When I hear it, it sounds like 'I love you.'  That is what I hear.  He doesn't need to hurt me in order to test whether or not I love him.  YES, I GET HURT!  Yes, it hurts when you say those things.  Stop testing.