today sucks

8:09 AM 7/8/10

Today sucks and I hate everything. The end.

I am in an obnoxious, irritated mood. Last night, I got my new refrigerator working, and I went to the grocery store and got a couple of small things to put in there, not much, and nothing bizarre like bone marrow. I had some salsa, and some cheese, and some watermelon chunks already cut up, not a whole watermelon.

The melon chunks were slightly - I can't remember the word now. They were rotten just a little bit, and turning into alcohol, so they got fizzy. Fizzy like champagne. I've had grapes that did that before too. I never drink at all, and I'm chemical sensitive, so I notice the slightest bit of alcohol. My blood alcohol level was probably 0.00000000001, but I felt it. I am probably also having a Feingold Diet salicylate reaction, since I had a lot of fruits and vegetables.

I went to the chatroom for the first time in ages, out of loneliness and boredom. And I don't have time to write about it because I have to go to work this morning, in hot foods. I hate working in hot foods - not only do I not have a clue how to do it, but also, I have to spend a lot of time doing nothing, and there's gas fumes from the burners, and mold from the ceiling or someplace, so the air is toxic.  

Curtis and Carrie are 'back together,' which means I'll see her coming into the store and hugging him while he's at work again, probably. Meanwhile, I can't even get him to agree to return a phone call, but I'm being attacked by voices who don't care about free will, and they want me to force him to get with me even though he doesn't want to.  

I tried to get them to reframe the 'assignment' so that it allows for Curtis's free will. The assignment must be described in such a way that it only asks for me to do those things that I have control over, for instance, 'Ask him sixty times, twice each day, to give you a phone call.' That would be extremely pushy and irritating, but at least it's a clear assignment that focuses only on something I have control over. (That's how the murderers do THEIR attacks: bombard someone with a nagging verbal message, hundreds of times a day, by beaming it or broadcasting it to their brain, while they continue to refuse, and the murderers ignore their refusal, for weeks, months, or years.) And by the way, NO, I'm not going to do that particular assignment that way. I'm not going to nag him repeatedly while he continues to refuse. Nagging someone hundreds of times doesn't make them want to do it any more than they did the first time. There's a limit on that. Familiarity makes people more likely to buy a product, after they've seen the ad a few times, but after that, you get sick of seeing the same thing a million times, and it doesn't make you more likely to buy it.

Curtis and Carrie both have this annoying thing on their facebook pages. It's a page that says there's a hidden racist message in the world cup logo. I looked, and looked, and I see nothing, so I'm guessing it's a practical joke intended to make you feel like a fool and to believe you're the only person who can't see the hidden racist message. I don't particularly find it amusing. 

I have to go get ready to work now.