Sunday, July 10, 2011

Depressed

I'm depressed. One of my favorite people did an unexplained no call no show yesterday, and is not here today. They said there was a misunderstanding about the schedule, but I never heard any more about it. I feel similar to the way I felt when Curtis was doing no shows at Weis, and he eventually left. It's this horrible depressed feeling. Why would I even want to show up at work if the people I like most are gone?

This is probably a side effect of my personality type - I can't go out and meet people, so I get attached to the few people I see at work, and I don't have faith in my ability to go out and meet new people. Plus, I CAN meet people, but they very rarely make me get any special feelings of deepness or specialness. This coworker is someone who understands something that I have felt since childhood. I've picked up on this during several conversations we've had. I feel a sense of deepness and intelligence with him that I don't feel with the other people. I feel like we are connected at some level, and even though he is not a "dual" personality type, I still feel a more visceral sort of bond with him than I do with the others. It's almost like he would believe me if I told him about myself. He has enough imagination that he might "get it" if I told him that all of mankind's worst nightmares are actually real and they are already happening and we need to do something about it.

But I will wait and see if he's here next week. I might ask someone. I'm going on vacation the week after next if all goes well.

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