This is just a quick blog, not a long one. I'm using, strangely enough, my netbook, at home, on my neighbor's wi-fi. I was talking to the guy next door, and I told him I'm leaving, and going to live in my car, and that I'm disconnected from the net. He was nice enough to let me use his wi-fi. It comes up through my floor. He set it up so that I'm not typing in a password and I don't know what the password is. I have guessed his personality type to be LSE, my mirror in the delta quadra. I felt so sure of it that I wanted to tell him that's what I thought he was, and I wanted to tell him about socionics. But I didn't tell him that yet. I might, though, before I leave. I had a feeling of trust and cameraderie with him, and it's unusual for me to feel so comfortable with someone I hardly know. All we need is for one of us to have a dual or an activator join us in the conversation, and we'll have a great time.
I was at the grocery store today, and I saw a magazine called 'Acoustic Guitar.' Steve Earle was on the front of it. He is wearing his hair in the 'bearded natural mullet' style that I have written about before - you grow your hair long even though you are going bald. I am an advocate of this hairstyle, and Steve Earle has done a great job with it. I do not believe that people should cut their hair when they go bald. If they do, that makes the world a worse place for everybody - it encourages everyone else to cut their hair too, out of fear that they might someday go bald and lose their long hair. Going bald with long hair is believed to be the worst case scenario of all hairstyles, but I personally love long hair even when it is balding on top. This is not a joke, it is sincere. I won't attach any photos of him here because it's hard to do on this computer when I don't have a mouse hooked up and the search engine is automatically set to 'Bing' instead of Google and I haven't customized everything yet and I barely ever use this netbook. It's a pain. You can just google him to see what he looks like.
I went to see Harry Potter a couple days ago and will soon see it again. I saw some bloggers who've written that the end of Harry Potter is like the end of their childhood. I disagree with this. I myself am still hearing voices - nothing has changed. I am still a targeted individual being harassed by unknown, invisible people pushing buttons on high-tech energy weapons from somewhere far away. The 'evil magic' is still here and it is real. 'Voldemort' is still really out there and needs to be defeated. 'Wizards and witches' still need to be trained to use their 'magic.' The school system still sucks, and we still need a REAL teacher to show us how to do things that are actually useful. We still live in a culture that separates people from each other instead of giving them a feeling of community. All of those things are still true.
Harry Potter shows people a world where people are all together in one place, a close community, learning things together, and we still need that in the real world. I already felt that way after I graduated from school, and after I dropped out of college - I already was aware that the world doesn't give you any kind of community anymore once you leave school. You don't get to go someplace and all eat together in one big group in the dining hall, or sit together in a classroom learning things. All you have is your job. If you're not religious, then you don't want to go to church. There are some group activities but they're nothing like school used to be. All of that is still true, even though Harry Potter has ended. Whatever Harry Potter represents to us, whatever needs it fulfilled for us, those needs are all still real. So if you feel a sense of grief and loss now that it's over, think again. That's just a sign that you need to do something in the real world to meet those same needs. Nothing is over.
I am now on my two week vacation. I will be moving out of this apartment, while also running out of money really badly. When I was hearing voices last night, they suggested that I put a 'donation box' on my blog and ask people to send money to me. But I have a couple sources of money that I can use. Recently, 'they' have been doing something that I like: when I think of the future, knowing that I have to find the money 'somehow,' they ask me for more details about exactly how I might get the money. It makes me feel less anxious about the future. I have to be more specific about where the money will come from. This is not the same as somebody freaking out and getting all upset and emotional and screaming at me about how I'm not thinking about the future enough, somebody acting like this is the end of the world. Instead it is simply a calm, logical voice asking for more details so that I can plan ahead and know what I'm doing.
So anyway, my neighbor and I already trust each other even though we've only had a couple of brief conversations. We already talk to each other easily and comfortably. It's true that I can't tell him EVERYTHING - I don't want to get into the long story of the drug residues, and I haven't told him that I'm being attacked by energy weapons. I didn't go into detail about how much it means to me, the challenge of living in my car, but I did actually express that feeling of challenge and I told him it was something I've wanted to do for a long time. I explained that I'm doing this because I want to, and not merely because I have to.
Living in my car is actually a step towards further changes in my lifestyle. I keep telling everyone that it's only temporary, but actually, I intend this to be a serious change in my life. I want to find ways to make it more permanent. And I've been talking to my coworker and taking him very seriously when he talks about his motorized bicycle and other similar things he's doing. I will probably do something similar very soon. I don't want to waste any more of my life throwing money away to pay rent and property taxes and expensive gasoline, when I believe that the entire economic system is all wrong, and the government is all wrong, and the money system is all wrong, and I don't want to be part of it anymore. My lifetime is too valuable to waste it that way. And this, again, is part of the 'Harry Potter isn't over' theme. It's still going on and on. There still is a need for an 'underground society' or 'secret society' of people who live their lives in a drastically different way than the mainstream 'Muggles' who don't know about them.
I had an incident yesterday - a customer at McDonald's made eye contact with me while I was at the part of the table where you put the meat on the sandwich and wrap it. He was an interesting looking person, and I wondered if he was a delta NF - that was my quick-guess visual identification. I have no way to verify whether these quick guesses are correct or not, but they are something that I do for my own entertainment. We made eye contact once, and then I looked back down to make the sandwiches, and then we made eye contact again. Suddenly I fumbled the tongs that I was holding and nearly dropped them on the floor. When I looked back up the guy was grinning.
I had an 'interpretation' of the incident which came from the voices. Their interpretation was that this guy was 'using magic' with me and caused me to fumble the tongs I was holding. Supposedly he had seen me at the Harry Potter movie. In this fantasy, we were both secretly wizards and we just didn't have wands, but could do a little bit of magic without them, just like in the books.
I, however, interpret all of these events to be puppet incidents involving energy weapons, not magic. Unlike some other targeted individuals on the net, I do not believe that all of the people I encounter every day are members of gangs, people who knowingly and deliberately attack in broad daylight. Instead, when I have any kind of 'encounter' with anybody, I interpret that person as being an innocent puppet who does not understand what's happening any better than I do, someone who is NOT pushing a button on a device or doing anything to me themselves. Instead, we are both puppets who are being manipulated by a third party somewhere else. That is how I interpreted the McDonald's Magic incident.
And yet I still feel that feeling of cameraderie and belief in magic, which I have felt ever since my childhood. I was always interested in magic and fantasy, and I always had a feeling that the world had something hidden in it which was secret from the mainstream society. Ever since I learned about energy weapons, I have wanted to reconcile that belief in magic with a belief in technology. Both of them are non-mainstream and unknown to most people. There are feelings that I cannot feel anymore as a result of being constantly zapped - I cannot feel the 'mysterious mystical' feeling, which is probably associated with my tempus function, Ni, introverted intuition.
And I love Gulenko's names for the functions and I'm still learning to use those names, but unfortunately, nobody in the the16types.info forum uses those names, so I won't be able to 'say them out loud' in interactions with other people, but must instead use them here in my blog. They have some benefits and drawbacks, and apparently they haven't caught on yet. Factor, Intueor, Emoveo, Profiteor, Sensus, Tempus, Relatio, Lex. I was thinking of ways to make them more convenient to use and more memorable. For instance, you could capitalize the introverted functions, and lowercase the extraverted functions, so that you would write out someone's mental block as SpTe (Sensus profiteor Tempus emoveo). I don't want to capitalize the extraverted functions, because the letter I in Intueor looks like the lowercase L in Lex. So it's better to capitalize Lex, an introverted function, and to lowercase intueor, an extraverted function. You do this to make it easier to see which functions are introverted or extraverted, so that you can alternate them when you construct someone's functions. Most people are using the letters Si, Se, Fi, Fe, and so on. Those have a lot of advantages, and I won't get into it all right now. I want to somehow make it easier to use Gulenko's function names, and mimic some of the advantages of the SiTeNiFe etc. method of writing functions. You won't be able to easily remember that F (factor) is connected to S (sensus), or E (emoveo) is connected to R (relatio) the way you can when you use Se/Si, Fe/Fi and so on. You can't see that those functions are the 'flip side' of each other or 'two sides of the same coin.' When you are strong at one, you are also strong at the other. This is something you have to know in order to type people, because all NFs will seem to have similar abilities - all of them can do both types of N and both types of F, and it's hard to tell if someone is a delta NF or a beta NF (for example). With Gulenko's letters, you don't have a way to merely say 'they're an NF.' You have to be too specific and say 'they're an iR or a Te or whatever.' It's helpful to have a more general category such as NF, NT, SF, and ST when you don't know someone's type for sure. There is a stage in guessing someone's type when you only know the most general category that they might be in, and Gulenko's letters don't have a way to express that general category. So I love his letters and function names because they are much more meaningful than 'introverted sensing' and 'extraverted sensing' and that kind of thing, but they are also too specific. Here I said I wasn't going to get into it, but I did.
I'm going to just publish this now. This turned out to be a long blog anyway. I wasn't supposed to be using the internet at home anymore! But in two weeks, I will be living in my car.
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