'she feels the scans.'

'she feels the scans,' they said. i had been kissing peter, and we said, 'no wonder she cannot feel love.' every few seconds, i felt disturbed by a zap. my drugs - though i can't control when i'm exposed to them - intensify electromagnetic sensitivity. whenever they merely 'surveil' me, when they merely 'watch,' i am being affected by disruption, discomfort, disturbance by the effect of whatever ACTIVE radiation is used for surveilling.

there is passive surveillance, where all you do is passively receive whatever is emitted by somebody, versus active surveillance, where you 'shine a light' of some kind on somebody.

active surveillance is disruptive and perceptible. most people don't know what it is, but it DOES affect them. it causes constant, low-level discomfort and anxiety IN EVERYONE, but they don't know how to interpret it. in other words, it's wasteful - it causes 'friction' on everybody, wasting their energy, making them less calm, less at peace, always anxious, always tense. by destroying mental focus, it makes everybody everywhere less intelligent, less creative. it makes everyone less able to listen when somebody is speaking to them or expressing feelings. it makes them less close to everybody.

when i was with peter, i could not focus mentally enough to relax and enjoy being close to him, because some window-watcher was zapping me with surveillance scans, which interrupt and disturb my electromagnetic field. so no wonder i can't enjoy intimacy. i am interrupted by a zap every couple seconds. it makes me angry to think of it.

people are watching, and they think that they're invisible, unseen, unknown, and that i can't detect them. but they are injuring me merely by 'watching,' because it is ACTIVE electromagnetic surveillance, not passive.

and we reminded them about the heisenberg uncertainty principle, and how this principle is analogous to my situation: whenever you 'look at' a small particle, you have to shine a light on it somehow - throw something at it - and see what happens when the light bounces back to you, so that you can gather the information that has changed - but in the process, you disrupt the particle you looked at, so that it no longer has the same energy, the same trajectory, as it had in the beginning. they say, you can't know where it is right now, and also predict where it's going in the future, because merely by 'looking' at it (using an ACTIVE process of some kind that 'bounces something off it') you alter its trajectory.

the pseudo-science people interpreted this as a spiritual metaphorical thing, and they now believe that all forms of either active or passive looking, including activities at the MACRO level, will influence whatever you are looking at or even thinking about. i haven't seen the movie 'what the bleep do we know?' but from what i've heard about it, it reminds me of when people misinterpret ideas that were originally very specific and technical, and give them a metaphorical or spiritual meaning which is sometimes wrong. (sometimes the metaphors are accurate, but other times not.)

i'm telling you that at the MACRO level, if some guy were merely sitting outside the window, and content with just using his eyes or some binoculars to look at me, i wouldn't be disturbed. that's passive. it's not going to do anything to my electromagnetic field. but somebody is out there using something technological to scan what's going on in thorough detail in our bodies, under our clothing, whatever. and it's THAT which causes a detectible, disturbing zap. it DOES interact with a human being's electromagnetic field at the macro level.

maybe a long time ago, before radio was invented, before the world was full of ambient noise, maybe it really was possible for humans and animals to sit quietly and 'get the feeling they're being watched.' maybe we were hypersensitive enough to detect the emf of another living creature nearby. since i wasn't alive hundreds or thousands of years ago to find out, i can't know whether or not that's possible, in a noiseless, radio-silent world. maybe it's still possible nowadays, i don't know - people still say they experience it. i don't know the process involved. it's been a long time since i experienced that sensation, but i remember it once or twice when i was a little kid.