a note which coincided with a break, by accident

i was going to give someone a brief note, but didn't know that this was the week of spring break. i am just going to wait until that's over. that was unintentional - i didn't deliberately plan this to coincide with spring break. i found out it was spring break when i went in on friday and saw the schedule. i didn't have a convenient moment to pass the note along because i am trying to avoid doing it in front of everybody, because this situation is humiliating and i don't want everybody looking at me while i have to give somebody a handwritten note. talking out loud is even more difficult than giving people notes, because i can't control the tone of my voice and i don't like how i sound. my voice either chokes up and gets silenced, or goes too high-pitched, or sounds cold and harsh and abrupt.

there is nothing amazing in the note. it is a troubleshooting question to ask about whether our emails are getting through. i don't even know where to begin as to 'who knows what.' for instance, i don't know if he reads my blog. i don't know if he has a similar problem of not being able to reach this web page. i don't know what he believes about me, for instance, if he believes that i am doing something deliberately to hurt him or that i'm lying to him. (and vice versa: i don't know whether he's doing something like that to me.) we have only a very small number of face-to-face conversations or phone conversations, and so we aren't familiar enough to know what level of trust there is, or to adapt to each other's thinking and speaking styles.

i need to know about the emails for two reasons, first, to get a better idea what to do about this particular friendship/relationship/acquaintance/whatever it is, and also, for future reference, if i try to communicate with anyone else in the future, i need to know if our emails are being interfered with by someone, so that i can make the decision to just avoid using emails at all in the first place, and insist from the very beginning that some other way of talking has to be used.

i looked at the note again, and i wrote it when i wasn't feeling well, so i was concerned that it was going to be very negative or too emotional. however, it is brief, which is what i was trying to do, and the overall tone is anxiety and uncertainty, which is the truth of how i feel. it was not a giant thick book like the last one i wrote.