Toxic smoke is poisoning my apartment!

7:46 AM 12/19/10

toxic smoke

I woke up in the middle of the night - 'they' woke me up - and they made me leave the area. I was blacking out and losing my judgment. I 'fell asleep', or blacked out again, and when I woke up, the fingers of my right hand were all dead and cold and numb and they felt nothing. They were actually cold to the touch when I touched them with my other hand. I couldn't think.

First I tried getting up and taking a shower. Then I drank some water. I laid back down again and still kept feeling like I was dizzy and blacking out. I didn't want to leave. All I wanted to do was sleep.

I finally got up and got in the car. This was one of those times when I was urged by 'the voices,' because I myself didn't feel any desire to get up and go outside. It was 10 degrees outside. The car was covered in frost. The last place I wanted to be was outside. But still I got up and left.

I went driving in the car on the highway, just to go someplace else. I was running out of gas. I went down I-80 to Snowshoe, and got gas and a cup of coffee there. I hadn't been drinking coffee - this is the first cup of 'regular' coffee that I've had in a couple days - but I felt like it was an emergency.

I was still dizzy for a while when I was driving. But I got better after a while. I got the gas at Snowshoe, and then turned around, drove back up I-80, and went to Lamar. I turned around at Lamar, and turned on the radio and listened to some news. As I was going home, I realized I was feeling better.

But as soon as I got back to my apartment, I got out and immediately felt the dizziness come back. I heard a neighbor outside, who coughed once, and I think they were letting the cat out - I looked around to see where the cough came from, but couldn't see anyone, but thought I saw a cat - and I wanted to go ask them if the smoke was bothering them too. I'd like to ask more people and see if anyone else feels the same way, if anyone else is weak and dizzy and blacking out and losing circulation in their hands like I was.

There are lots and lots of people burning fires today. I don't know if it's coming from the person across the street. I smell a lot of smoke. There is no wind at all - the air is dead still. So the smoke is lingering around and not blowing away. I want to go back to sleep. I've come home and I'm tired and dizzy again. I don't want to go out driving. I'd stay in a hotel, except I don't have a credit card anymore, and from my experience, hotels always require you to have a credit card. I guess they might make an exception. I don't know, I never tried.

But I feel like I can't even stay in the area of this apartment, not inside, and not outdoors either. It's so bad, it's everywhere in this area. I felt much, much better when I was out of town, far away, in a less populated area with less smoke.

I'd like to tell someone about it, but I don't know who to tell. What would we do, go around knocking on doors and asking people, 'What are you burning in there?' Somebody might be burning something toxic, something with plastic in it maybe, something that you're not supposed to burn. I wonder if the people in that house are still alive today? They seriously might not be able to wake up, if any of them feel the way I feel.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I might go out driving around again.

*******

I'm angry. I looked in the 'health' tag on Wordpress, and what was the first article I saw? I saw one of those articles where they claim that it's GOOD for you to get less sleep. I *HATE* that. That is my pet peeve of all recent health studies. I am a victim of sleep deprivation caused by electronic harassment. I *KNOW* that I used to be happier and much more comfortable when I used to be able to sleep a longer, uninterrupted sleep. The murderers attacking me might be using the 'It's for your own good' rationale when they wake me, thinking that it's 'good for me' to sleep less instead of more. I'll decide on my own what's good for me! For me, MORE SLEEP makes me feel more human.