About socionics dual relationships. This insulting blog should chase away all of my readers forever. Muahahahaha!

3:05 AM 2/20/11

A few weeks ago I looked up 'socionics' because 'they' urged me to look it up. I didn't look it up because I thought to look it up on my own. It was them. I had heard of it before, I had read the word, but I wasn't that curious about it.

I have wanted to know which type I should get with if I want to have a stable, long-term love relationship, where we don't get divorced later on after having kids. That hasn't been easy to figure out, partly because I keep changing my own type (when 'they' tell me to - but yes, I agreed with them when they suggested I was either an ISTP or ISFP).

Most of the tests are terrible - I believe that they mistype a HUGE number of people, and not just a minor mistyping, but a drastic mistyping, telling you totally the wrong thing, not even in the ballpark. This makes some people conclude that there is no such thing as personality type! And that is a regrettable loss, because knowledge of personality types is extremely useful.

I want someone to fix this by creating tests that make you *do* things that only your type can do well - you demonstrate that you are that type, because no other type can do what you can do.

The tests don't work well if you have to use self-description to choose the answers on the tests. You don't know yourself well enough to accurately describe yourself, you can't see the truth about yourself, you can only see the wishful thinking beliefs about who you think you are or who you want to be or who other people told you you should be. It's EVEN HARDER if you've been reading about personality types for a couple decades, as I have been! because when I take a test now, I always have some idea what it is that the test questions are testing for, and since I already believed that I was a particular type, I tended to 'try' to get that type by answering the questions 'correctly.' I had been brainwashed to think I was that type, and I had to try to get that answer when I took a test.

One of the questions on the tests that I took recently, which gave me some doubts about being an F type, was: Do you automatically know how to cheer up the people around you or change their moods? I forget the exact words of the questions. But no, I don't. If other people around me are in a bad mood, I can express some sympathy for them but I don't know how to make people laugh, for instance. I don't automatically do the right things to cheer people up, but yet, I know exactly what that question is talking about, because I see people who do that easily, and I know that I can't. I noticed that question because I had never seen it before on any previous tests, so it was new, unfamiliar, and unexpected. It gave me a new way of looking at things.

It's extremely important that the tests give you accurate results if you are going to try to use them to find a love relationship. If you have the wrong type, and you are searching for the wrong type because you believe that person will be good for you, then the whole process is impossible and frustrating and totally wrong. For instance, when I thought I was an ISFP, I thought that I should look for an ESTJ, because of some theories that I no longer agree with. Not only was I mistyped, I was also using a theory that I no longer agree with. If I had gotten a good match, it would have been random chance. (The theory I was using says: Change all of the letters except the S/N. In Socionics, it says, change all of the letters except the J/P. So if I really had been an ISFp, I would have looked for an ENTp with the socionics theory.)

I took a small socionics test that had only eight questions, first. It said I was an ISTp. (In Socionics, they lowercase-ize the p or j at the end. Or you can use the socionics letters SLI, same thing.) I thought it was probably wrong because it had only eight questions. :) Apparently 'they' decided it was right, because it was shortly after that that they decided to put me back in ISTp.

It's also helpful to know your enneagram type correctly. The socionics type is more important - that comes first - but after that, the enneagram type influences which person you will like most out of a set of results. If you're an ISTp and you find ten different ENFps, then the enneagram type is probably the reason why you have one favorite out of that group. The enneagram web pages talk about how some of the type pairs have a special chemistry that seems to be stronger than the other pairings. They say that all types can get along, but yet, some seem to be more strongly drawn together. It's my understanding that if I am a Three (for real, and not just as the result of a typing error), then I might tend to like Fours and Fives.

You have to get past the idea that particular Myers-Briggs types 'aren't allowed' to be a particular enneagram type. Or the idea that there is a correlation between the enneagram types and the Myers-Briggs types. (Like 'All Eights are ENTJs,' or something. There are other types that can be Eights.)

Socionics doesn't just stop after figuring out which type you would fall in love with as your soul mate - your 'dual.' They also describe each of the relationships you have with all the other types.

Now, I have seen some sort of thing where other people in the 'Jungian Types School' had some names for your relationships with your other Jungian functions, but it wasn't very clear to me what they were talking about. They had some archetype names for what that function means to you, like 'the jester' or something like that, or 'the devil,' for instance, for some of the relationships you have with your shadow functions. Like, a relationship between you and one of your functions. It wasn't clear that this would also be a relationship between you and other types out in the world.

Socionics made a name for the relationships between you and all sixteen of the types. Your relationship with your own type is called 'Identity,' and it's actually just below 'Dual' (your soulmate) in terms of relationship quality. Dual is first, and Identity is just below that. So you like people who are exactly like yourself, too. The Identity relationships tend to be a teacher-student relationship if you are two different ages, like a parent and child. You might feel competitive against your Identity in a social environment if you were the same age and same sex.

I've been having a reaction to one of my co-workers who I never worked with much in the past, but have been working with recently because they've been scheduling me to work earlier in the day. I never knew her much at all. Now that I've been working with her, I've gotten annoyed with her several times because she does things the wrong way, but somehow it turns out to miraculously work out well anyway. You're supposed to follow certain procedures, and often, she doesn't follow them. My 'wrong' detector goes off, and I get annoyed with her for doing something wrong, but then I see that the result she gets is BETTER than if she had done it the right way. So I slyly, secretly copy her 'wrong' way of doing things (not all the time, but sometimes, because there are some things that irritate me so badly I don't want to do them). She seems somehow stupid and smart at the same time. I decided she is probably my identity, an ISTp. She is slightly competitive and threatening to me, and I get kind of jealous of her sometimes. She is also kind of annoying. But we seem to understand each other.

Curtis and I are 'Identity.' He is most likely an ISTp. (I will be very annoyed if anybody tries to change this later and say that he isn't an ISTp.) He knows how to do things like install his own stereo and speakers into the car, and decorate the inside of the car with neon lights. As he is much younger than I am, and as he was a newly hired employee at Weis in the summer of 2009, I had a teacher/student relationship with him. I loved teaching him how to do things, and I loved helping him when he had problems. That was the most wonderful time period with us. After a while, I became sad, because he didn't need me to teach him anymore, and also, he moved to another shift earlier in the day and wasn't ever alone with me anymore. In the evenings, our two departments might have only one person working there at a time, so I would be alone in my department and he would be alone in his, and so he would come to me if there was a problem.

If personality types are hereditary, or if they tend to be, then it makes sense that you should have a good relationship with your Identity type, because many of your children might be that type. I had sort of a 'younger brother' feeling from him.

I don't know what type Martin was. He was unusual. I didn't interact with him enough, and we only had a couple of emails that were more than a few sentences long, before 'they' started forcing disasters to happen and making it impossible for us to communicate. I can't see what type he is. I enjoyed his writing style and I enjoyed reading his blog (which is no longer there).

I have recently placed an ad asking for ENFps. Lots of people answered it and told me what their type was, but they were all the wrong type. Only recently, I got two ENFps, finally. One of them seems to be an enneatype Nine and the other might be a Six. When I was reading one of the emails from the 'Six-Like Person' (since I don't know for sure), I was strongly reminded of my old friend Sam from public school. So Sam might be an ENFP type Six, and I never knew that.

How can I tell if these are the right people, when the test gives so many wrong results? Well, it doesn't give the wrong results to ENFps, ha ha. It DOES give the wrong results to sensors. Many sensors are mistyping as intuitives because of the way the questions are worded. I was typing as 'INTP,' 'INTJ,' and 'INFP' in the beginning.

If I still believed I was an INTP, and if I followed my previous type attraction theory (change all the letters except the N), it would have been a disaster according to the type I have today and the socionics theory. I would have tried looking for ENFJs. ENFJ is the WORST match for an ISTP in socionics. It seems strange - there's only one letter of difference between the very best and the very worst, ENFP and ENFJ. But that is how it is. You must know EXACTLY your correct type, and you must use the right theory of which types you are attracted to.

My best friend in the world, Rachael, was an ENFP. As soon as I learned about the Myers-Briggs types, and I read about the other types, I recognized her as ENFP. For us it was love at first sight. We were both in Gifted class in sixth grade and I think this was the first class session. I had never met her before. She started laughing about something. But she has one of those dorky laughs that sounds like a dying seal. 'Honk, honk, honk,' is the way she laughs. Like a classic dork on television. She really laughs like that for real. As soon as I heard her laughing, I started laughing at the way she laughed. It made me laugh uncontrollably, which made her laugh even harder, and it created a feedback loop. We both sat there laughing like morons for several minutes while the rest of the class silently watched us thinking we were crazy. That is how I fell in love at first sight with my old best friend Rachael.

Curtis and Carrie fell in love at first sight at a party. So I started wondering if she is an ENFP. I get along well with her, actually, and she says that she likes me (although she doesn't like some of the things that 'they' have been forcing me to do). This was depressing to me in a way, because I don't drink and I don't go to parties, so I can't go mingling with groups of people and falling in love at first sight at a party. The most I could do would be to go to a church, probably. I would find a lot of Type Nines there, and I don't really feel a strong attraction to Nines.

Unfortunately, it looks like some of the people I will be strongly attracted to will be the super-crazies. The uber-weirdos. I have a history of this. I was attracted to Terry at first sight. He was the guy I dated for several years in high school. He was a total wackjob and we fought constantly over nothing but we loved each other and I loved him more than I ever loved anyone before. The reason I say 'unfortunately' at the beginning is because these people are rare and hard to find. You can't just go into a group of people and find the weirdest person there. I am talking about people who are so extremely weird, you can't predict where on earth you will find them. I can say I will find lots of Nines in a church. But I can't say where I will find lots of weirdos. (A Harry Potter fan club with everyone wearing their costumes? I don't know. Maybe not. And I am a huge Harry Potter fan, but never have tried to join a group about it yet.)

The reason I was convinced about socionics so quickly was because I recognized that their description of Duality fit my relationship with Rachael, if I really am an ISTp. I have never dated large numbers of people, but every once in a while, someone special and unusual comes along that I am attracted to. And these people are almost always something similar to an ENFP.

It fit my relationship with an older guy named Joe who I was with for a short time in college. I was 23? and he was 41 and married. He was an intellectual guy but also very disorganized, and he was loving and kind and gentle, but also patronizing, and he used huge, abstract words that I had to look up in the dictionary, like 'confluence' - I learned the word 'confluence' from him, and I have always remembered that I learned the word 'confluence' from him.

I loved Justin the Rat when I was a child and I saw 'The Secret of Nimh.' I looked in that book when I went home to West Virginia in December, and Justin reminded me of an ENFP. He was a gentle hero who came to appreciate Mrs. Frisby's surprising strength and resourcefulness. I liked part of his dialogue where he was surprised by her, and told her he was surprised, sort of like 'I never realized how cool you were till now,' with admiration, seeing her for the first time, that kind of thing. I used to have a crush on Justin.

I'm wondering now if Bernard and Bianca on... what was that called? Bernard and Bianca the mouse on 'The Rescuers' might have been duals - she was more extraverted and he was introverted; he was a janitor; he was timid; she was adventurous; but I'm not sure of their types. (Cartoon characters were a lot more pleasant back then. Nowadays we are tortured by unbearably annoying characters like the Shrek Donkey, characters who have behavior problems that have become worse in the past few decades, like hyperactivity and autism, which are being caused by chemicals, vaccines, and malnutrition.)

In high school there was a guy who later turned out to be gay, but we dated for a while, and he had hundreds of videotapes of Japanese animation at a time in the past when we didn't have the internet as much as we do today, so I don't know where he heard about such an obscure thing. He was a weirdo.

My brother (ISTp) loved Ariel the Mermaid, who is often typed as an ENFp. Not all ENFps are as obvious as she is, especially if they're male, so I can't just go around looking for male mermaids who remind me of Ariel. If males are F, and if females are T, then they're harder to recognize than usual, because there are tendencies in the male brain and the male culture to act like a T, and tendencies in the female world to act like an F. Male and female personality types are different, and I would like to see a male and female version of every one of the descriptions, because the differences are significant. A male ENFp and a female ENFp are not exactly the same, and it's hard to recognize a 'feminine' type in a male or a 'masculine' type in a female. I read on one of the socionics pages that males tend to form hierarchies, where one person commands the others, and females tend to form egalitarian groups, where everyone is equal, and it tends to be this way no matter what their types are. And they have found more T types in males, and more F types in females. So I am a slightly rare type (not extremely rare, but slightly) and the guy I want to find is also a slightly rare type.

I have dated an unusually high number of left-handed people.

I am not just picking the weirdest people as 'good examples' out of all the people I dated. I hardly ever dated anybody. When I did date anybody, they were almost always very weird. If I tried dating a normal person, we might be together one time and then give up. (Part of my definition of 'normal person' is 'someone I can't stand.' That might be because an ISTJ is viewed as a 'normal person.' One of the socionics pages said that for this particular relationship, which I can't remember the name of, you can't stand to read a book written by that person, and 'their creations look monstrous.')

That happened once when I kissed a 'normal guy' who I met at a party. I went to a drinking party with some of my co-workers - I think this was when I was in college and home for the summer - and I didn't drink, I just sat there watching everyone else drink. One of the drunk guys made out with me. I think we were in the garage. It was actually pathetic and I didn't enjoy it very much. He left lots of hickeys on my neck and I went home and my parents saw them. But I didn't feel much attraction to him and I never made any effort to find him again. Whatever it was, it was just drunken randomness. And he seemed to be someone I would describe as 'normal.' (Although I was somewhat normal back then, too.) He could've been yet another ENFp for all I know, but he was 'normal' and he 'fit in' in most ways.

'Normal' and 'weird' might be the influence of the enneagram type. I don't know. They also might be Weston Price brain deformities. (Warning... I'm tired of giving this warning, but every time I mention Weston Price, I have to say this. If you ever get interested in their diet, be warned that some of the things people talk about eating will make you extremely sick right away, as in, puking a couple minutes after you eat it. Bone marrow is one of those things. And the smell, the vapors from the bone marrow, if you ever try to eat it, will linger in your refrigerator forever and ever and ever, and will never decay, and they will permeate all the food and drink you put in there, so that you will puke again if you eat anything that got the vapors in it. That was my personal experience with trying to eat bone marrow, which Weston Price followers say you can eat. They say it's made into soup, and there are recipes described for bone marrow in some of the books written by the followers like Sally Fallon. Whoever has written this is a liar who never actually ate the recipe they've written, because bone marrow will trigger severe and uncontrollable vomiting (and also fainting and passing out, and also, horrible feelings all over the body, 'malaise,' and hours and hours of restless agitation) within minutes. So the Weston Price diet needs MAJOR TROUBLESHOOTING! Read that website that gives the instructions for doing the 'universal edibility test!' *DON'T* just eat what the Weston Price followers suggest! End of disclaimer. Not only that, but toxic chemicals and drugs can cause a lot of those deformities too, and they may be equally important, or more important, than nutrient deficiencies in causing those deformities.)

What was I saying? The Weston Price brain deformities can make people weird, with parts of the brain being too large or too small. But I'm not sure if that's all it is. It might possibly be Fives who are 'weird' to me. Fives are often described as strange and nonconformist and not fitting in somehow. Fours are also weirdos who don't fit in, but they are the 'depressed and suicidal' kind of weirdo more than the 'bizarre and unpredictable' kind of weirdo. I haven't met many people who I thought were Fours. Joe might have been a Four (the 41 year old), and 'Nerdman' (in the chatroom years ago) might have been a Four (I don't think he was an ENFp, but I think he was an NF. Maybe an INFp. He was also patronizing and superior to me, like Joe - and no, I don't like that, in the long run - it's something I put up with because I like other things about the person enough that I still want to be with them. I like being respected for my strength.) Again, when I call people weirdos, I also call myself a weirdo. I am always feeling like an outsider who doesn't fit in when I'm in a group - an outsider in a bad way. And I can't mean 'weirdo' as an insult because these are the only people I have ever loved.

Weirdos are so strange and so complex and unpredictable that I haven't seen them well represented on television and the movies. I want to see more of them.

'What Dreams May Come' might be about duality. I thought they both seemed like 'P' types, and back then, I thought that was 'wrong' because it didn't match my theory of which types ought to go together. If anyone was a weirdo it was Robin Williams jumping along like a bunny in the doctor's office to lead Stacy Jacobs away to get her migraines diagnosed. (Am I remembering this right? It's been a while since I saw the movie - it's on a VCR tape, not a DVD, and I need to get a copy on DVD.) Annie was an artist, but she wasn't just doing her own art, she was also fixing and restoring other people's paintings, so she might have been more of a 'crafter' like an ISTp. As a woman, she would have had the 'F' skills more strongly, and could talk about feelings, so she could say things like 'You get angry. Death does that,' when they put the dog to sleep.

(That just made me think of Inception. 'There's really nothing to be said,' is what Maurice Fischer said to Robert Fischer after their mother died. When he heard that story, Eames, disguised as Uncle Peter, responded, 'Oh, well, he was never good with feelings,' which is a laughable understatement. There are particular combinations that will tend to be extremely 'bad with feelings,' and that will most likely be a male, possibly an Eight and an ESTJ or ENTJ. I'm guessing. I could be wrong. Somebody else will type Maurice Fischer as something completely different from what I just said. I can imagine someone saying he was a One or a Three or a Four or a Six or.... I never watched him closely for the purpose of determining his type, and there might not be enough information there.)

I always believed that if a household didn't have a combination of P and J strengths, if both parents had the same P or J attribute, then the household would either be 'too J' or 'too P,' where 'too J' means that all you do is follow rigid unbreakable rules and schedules all day long, and 'too P' means everyone procrastinates forever and everything is disorganized and there are no rules and the house is a mess and no one will do the laundry. ('What Dreams May Come' would have been that kind of house.) That is my mental image of the reason why a household should have one member be a P and the other be a J.

(I like the idea of a socionics quadra household. Socionics has these four groups, quadrants or quadra or something, and in each group you have yourself, your dual, your 'activator,' and your 'mirror.' For me that would be ISTp, ENFp, INFj, and ESTj. Two pairs of duals living together in a house - it's likely that at least one person will be able to cook and do laundry.)

Why do I have to use tests and theories and worry about all this stuff? I would love to just meet large numbers of people and then feel which ones were the most attractive to me. But that is impossible, and intolerable, when you are trying to use dating websites instead of going to churches or drunken parties. There are thousands of guys who will fuck anything, and 'anything' is me. They don't care if there is any spiritual attraction. They don't care if your personality types get along. They don't care if you can enjoy a conversation with each other. They want you because you have a physical body with a couple of holes in it. This is the 'we live on a desert island and must save the species from extinction' mentality. All that matters is having sex and getting someone pregnant. (They don't want to get anyone pregnant, though. I'm just saying that if birth control methods didn't exist, these guys would get someone pregnant.) If I go out with these people even once, then they keep emailing me afterwards and I have to feel the guilt of telling them 'no' over and over again, and eventually I find myself physically unable to motivate myself to even answer their emails.

(Note, about 'answering emails': There is a phenomenon for targeted individuals, where hackers intercept your email, and people are trying to email you and you really don't get it, and you don't get your phone calls either. This is real. It's confusing because sometimes, in real life, I really do give up on answering someone's emails, especially with dating websites where the 'fuck anything' people send you hundreds of meaningless, anonymous, generic letters. You can never tell when your emails are really being ignored, or if they are getting intercepted. I don't think I would ever just ignore dozens and dozens of long, passionate, bizarre emails though. Ever since I had the email interception phenomenon going on, I have 'heard voices' telling me that people were desperately trying to write to me, and these would be people I would love, who wrote me emails that I would love to read, and I'm not getting them, and they think they're being ignored.)

I am also trying to create a relationship that will be stable. I have dated people and broken up with them. I had an irreconcilable conflict with Rachael after we were together for 11 years. That's my longest relationship. I tend to date people for a few years, and again, I don't date huge numbers of people, but for marriage, I want someone who I can stay with for a few decades so that we can raise the children in a stable house. I don't want a divorce with children. If we divorced after the children were gone from the house that would be one thing (although still painful, as I am happy that my own mother and father are still together), but divorcing with children is terrible. Divorcing without children is bad enough.

So anyway... I've got two emails going with two ENFps, one of which might be a Six and the other of which might be a Nine. I don't know for sure. I know the Nine for sure, but the other one I haven't decided yet.

Some other day, I will have to talk about the Weston Price deformities, and people being low class socially. In West Virginia there are more deformities, more 'stupid' people (I'm sorry, but it's true), and more fat people. These things are caused by something - they happen to people through no fault of their own, although when some stupid person annoys you because of something they do, you blame them when you're annoyed, but really they can't help whatever they are doing - but anyway, this is associated with poverty, bottle-feeding, vaccines, pesticides, malnutrition, and other chemical poisoning. I have tried to research the soil nutrients in West Virginia and I get the impression that their soil is not good for producing food. They have to import food. It would cause malnutrition if you ate nothing but food produced in West Virginia - but again I couldn't find the information I wanted to know about, which was: which microminerals are missing from the soil? Is it selenium, chromium, etc? Or which macrominerals? Calcim, phosphorus... etc. But I have also wondered if coal mining and coal smoke have caused a lot of chemical contamination in West Virginia. Coal burning can cause lead poisoning and other heavy metal poisoning. Those things definitely make people stupid and they cause deformities of the whole body and brain.

I was thinking of this because a lot of unfamiliar, unusual people were going through the drive-thru the other day, and I saw large numbers of severely deformed faces, not just mildy deformed. These seemed like out-of-towners, or poor people, or people I recognized from the worst parts of West Virginia. People with big huge yellow teeth sticking out in all directions, their mouths hanging open, people who seemed mildly retarded with their tongues sticking out and lolling. (The original meaning of the word 'loll' is 'tongue lolling' and I always though of that when the abbreviation LOL came out, laughing out loud - I always thought of lolling tongues.) They stick their tongue out, move it around, and pull it back into their mouth. This is a deformity associated with retardation. But this person was driving a car, and she had her family in the back, and they all looked similar to her. And there was more than one car full of people who all looked like that. There were many different cars with severely deformed people driving them the other day.

Physical appearance matters, and I am even more convinced of that than ever after reading Weston Price. There are stereotypes, like 'Cletus, The Slack-Jawed Yokel' on The Simpsons, and these stereotypes are true, because the 'stupidity' that they are making fun of is caused by brain deformities which are associated with visible face and jaw deformities. I'm sure pesticides are the biggest cause of this, but if you have pesticides combined with malnutrition from poor soil and a bad diet in your culture, combined with bottle feeding in infancy, you get the worst possible deformities - hideous faces and hugely obese people who can hardly walk because of severe obesity. Vaccines can also cause 'panniculitis,' and when I read that word, I looked it up, because it looked familiar, and it turns out it's an inflammation of the panniculum, or whatever - I forget the word now - which is the belly fat. Your fat tissue, your adipose tissue, can get inflamed by vaccines. I believe that all of the fat tissue in someone's entire body can be inflamed and deformed as a result of vaccines, which causes severe obesity. Severe obesity has nothing to do with overeating. The end. Repeat to infinity. ***SEVERE OBESITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH OVEREATING!!!*** Repeat to infinity. It happens through absolutely no fault of your own. It is caused by poisons, vaccines, and permanent body deformities in the adipose tissue. This is a 'deformity,' a misshapen body part which did not develop properly. Just as you can grow a jaw which is too small for the teeth to fit into properly, you can grow fat tissue which is too big for the rest of the body.

But I will have to leave this subject for some other day - I'm exhausted. I need sleep. I'm supposed to write an email back to somebody but I don't know if I can. I'm so exhausted I can hardly type. 'They' woke me up after a brief nap tonight.

I know this blog sounded horrible and judgmental, making fun of weirdos, ugly people, stupid people, poor people, West Virginians, fat people, autistic people, nerds and dorks, suicidally depressed people, guys who will fuck anything with a hole, people who believe you should change every letter except the S/N, and men who are 'bad with feelings.' If there is a way to chase away ALL of my blog readers, that is the way to do it. Oh well...