coffee

12:52 AM 5/20/10

Okay, I changed the cardboard box that the computer keyboard sits on, and I also changed the piece of cardboard that *I* sit on when I sit in front of the computer. Both of them seemed to have been contaminated with something. I'm not sure how the new cardboard will work. Whatever drug I was hitting, it was causing me to sleep and sleep and sleep until I washed myself off, and then I would gradually recover.

I've had a lot of coffee today. First, I went to the gas station and got a cup. They have an unusual cream dispenser. Usually, you get cream in those little tiny plastic cups that are like an inch and a half tall. But this thing is like, you put your cup under a little white straw-like tube sticking out of the machine, and then push a button. I'm used to the ones we have at McD, where it dispenses only 1, 2, or 3 'shots' of cream at a time. This one, however, ran like a faucet until you stopped pushing the button. It took me a minute to figure this out, and by then, my cup was 1/3 full of cream. So I had 1/3 cream, 2/3 coffee, and it was actually very good. Cream is expensive, so I got a really good deal. If I wanted an even better deal, I could fill the entire cup with cream, and get an extra large cup, except it would probably still be cheaper to buy that much cream at the grocery store. (It was actually half and half, not cream, but anyway.)

(I should give my 'Why is milk so expensive?' lecture, but I'm not sure I'm in the mood right now. The short answer is 'property taxes.' The other part of the short answer is 'There is a law requiring milk to be expensive so that the middlemen, not the farmers, can get rich from selling milk, while the farmers get nothing, because the farmers are selling it at the price determined by the Chicago Mercantile Exchange, which is bid unnaturally low as a result of short-selling on margin, because of our fiat money system.' The end. You know what, I sound like that weird guy who writes articles on Kitco. I haven't seen him in a while.)

So then later I went to Burger King, and they are now selling ribs. I tried them and they're really good, but they forgot to give me barbecue sauce. I've been terrified of eating any meat that has visible bones in it, ever since the bone marrow incident, but the logical part of my brain remembered that I used to eat ribs every once in a while and had no problems with them. It was only the marrow bones that made me sick. So I tried ribs again and there wasn't the slightest problem at all. Anyway, I also got another cup of coffee while I was there, and it tasted like it had been sitting there all day long, evaporating, getting thicker and thicker for hours. It was terrible, but I drank it all. It was like something Garfield the Cat would drink, where he pours it out of the cup and it lands on the plate as a cup-shaped solid block and the plate shatters. I am not going to bed for a while.

Changing the cardboard at my computer was the only 'project' I was able to accomplish today. That is how terrible my chronic fatigue has been. One small thing was all I could do. The rest of the time, I'm able to sit and read at the computer, or type a blog, or watch a movie, but if it requires effort, I couldn't do it. For me, writing is the easiest thing in the world. It is like an automatic bodily function. I could write while sleeping. I'm not saying it would be my best work, but I could. It doesn't require effort. That's the only thing that I can still do while I have chronic fatigue.

I've been having a terrible reaction to the drug residues in the back of my car ever since I got the cardboard out. I had to take a shower even though I've already taken, like, two showers already today. This is the chemical sensitive lifestyle. That is another reason why the writing style is weird right now.

Okay, I was looking on facebook for other libertarians and anarchists, but it was only for entertainment purposes. I'm not ready to reach out to large groups of people for political purposes, because if I start talking to large numbers of real people, that will take up all of my time, and it needs to be focused and goal-oriented, otherwise I'll just run around talking to millions of people about things that aren't important to me, and nothing will get done. Facebook annoyed me because the search engine is badly designed. I want to rewrite it for them, but I can't write programs, at least not that kind, although I'm capable of it, but I never learned how. I only learned a little bit of Pascal, and C++, and a tiny bit of BASIC. I've messed around with that stuff and made a few small programs but nothing big and complicated. I can also write macros and other functions in Quattro Pro and Excel. This is all stuff that I haven't done in a long time.

While I was searching, I saw that somebody else on facebook had made the connection between anarchism and religion. They, too, understood the idea that we still need rules to follow if we get rid of government. So the religion makes up for what the government will no longer do, but with religion, you're allowed to leave. With government, you have no choice - you can't leave. (What? No choice? You can go to another country and then you'll appreciate just how wonderful your own government is! I can just hear it now. I'm not in the mood to explain all of this. When people say that, I feel 'threatened.' It's like they're saying, 'Leave this country, go someplace bad, and get the punishment you deserve, because you said you didn't like our government.' They think that anybody who doesn't like our government deserves to be punished. It's like they WANT you to go someplace else and have something bad happen to you. And I'll agree, there are worse governments out there. If you say you don't like our government, some people think 1. you don't like THEM personally, whoever it is you're talking to, and 2. you are dangerous and frightening. The 'I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever feelings I feel originally came from you' principle says that THEY are feeling threatened, so they respond by threatening YOU. I haven't tried googling that phrase, and I think I'm the one who invented it, but someone else has probably said the same thing somewhere on google. It happened when I googled 'Pie Rats of the Carob Bean' after seeing that movie. Somebody else had already written that joke on the internet, but I thought I made it up.)

I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever feelings I feel originally came from you. I used that idea several times if somebody was saying or doing something that made me start reacting emotionally. I would pay attention to my own feeling, and then realize that it was actually THEIR feeling, not mine. Another principle is 'Do unto others as others have already done to you.' This happens when people pass along the cruelty and abuse that other people have already done to them. I'm not saying it's a good principle, I'm just saying it happens.

This is a wackier blog than usual. The caffeine and the mystery drug residues will wear off eventually.

I hope that changing this contaminated cardboard will get rid of the chemical that's making me sleep so much.  Then I will try, once again, to quit coffee.  It is such a useful drug for me, but again, I am quitting it so that I can have the best nutrition possible for pregnancy.  (After writing about that yesterday or whenever, I had a dream (the attackers forced me to have a dream) about all my teeth falling out.  That only happens if you are malnourished during pregnancy and it's worst if you're a growing teenager who needs all the minerals you can get for your OWN body to grow up, while also giving minerals to the baby at the same time.  It pulls minerals out of your bones and teeth unless you have a very nutritious diet.  That is what I am trying to do, optimal nutrition.)  So I hope I can get back to quitting coffee again as soon as possible, though I really enjoy coffee and it makes me much more cheerful.