Sleep; Drug Residues; Peter's sugar crash; Star Wars

1:15 AM 5/26/10

This is just an unpleasant complaining blog.

I had the sleeping problem again today. I had quit caffeine all day Monday. There is still something in my clothing and on my bed that I'm reacting to, and I need to do more troubleshooting. This huge amount of sleep is not normal for me, even though I have chronic fatigue. This is about the fourth week in a row that has been completely ruined by hypersomnia with nothing getting accomplished except writing blogs.

I am waiting for June 10th when my work schedule should change. That should make both of my jobs more enjoyable. I won't just be mopping the lobby at McD every night, and I should be spending more time surrounded by people, instead of alone, at both jobs.

Tomorrow I'm getting the car inspected. This will probably cost a lot of money - I failed an inspection a while ago at a different repair shop. This is my 'getting a second opinion' inspection. They might, or might not, tell me to fix the same things that the other place told me to fix. I'm using the place that my brother told me about, Lohr's Garage, years ago when he used to live in State College. I've been going to them most of this time.

The terrible frustration of nothing getting done, while still being attacked and having problems, every day - I can't actually rest while I'm trying to sleep, because I am constantly bombarded with attacks. There is not a single second of a single day without the soul murderers zapping me constantly, putting voices in my head, burning me, disturbing and disrupting every thought and every feeling and everything I try to do. Chronic fatigue makes it so I can't motivate myself easily, except that in the real world - a world where I wasn't being attacked by soul murderers - I WOULD be able to motivate myself from within, by meditating and deciding what to do. I can't do that now. The murderers keep telling me again that I need to get help from someone. They WANT me to 'get help' from someone instead of solving my problems myself. They won't let me think about anything, motivate myself from within, or plan anything, but they want me to somehow get help from somebody to do my housework and all that (I haven't had the housekeeper guy over for a long time now - he sort of wasn't working out - he didn't have a car, and needed rides from State College, and he was on prescription drugs, and one day he was in withdrawal from drugs because he let his prescription run out, and it made him get into a really, really depressed mood, so I took him to Wal-Mart to get his prescription, and this is not really what I want to do with my hired housekeeper. Not only that, but also, and 'they' are requiring me to say this, but, I didn't find him physically attractive, and so I didn't just enjoy his company for the sheer sake of being with him.).

I don't know how they think I'm supposed to command someone else, whenever they won't let me use my brain to command itself. You have to be able to command yourself in order to command other people. How can I 'ask for help' and get somebody to come over here whenever they zap me if I try to think and make plans? The other person can't think for me, because they don't understand the drug residue contamination concept. It was very hard to explain things to the other guy who was trying to help me clean the house. People don't understand the idea of an invisible 'dirt' that they can't see, which only I can feel, because they haven't had a drug residue demonstration given to them to teach them how to detect the presence of drug residues and observe the symptoms that they cause.

My first experience of herbal residues was with poison ivy. It was many years ago when I was with Eric. We were walking by the duckpond, and we started arguing about a particular tree that had leaves that looked just like poison ivy leaves. I swore to him that this was a tree, NOT poison ivy. I don't know the name of the tree - that would be helpful to know. Eric insisted that this tree WAS poison ivy, not a tree. I demonstrated it by rubbing some of the leaves on my skin to test for a reaction. I also picked the leaves off another plant, and that plant actually was poison ivy. I think I made a mistake, though, because there was one that I thought was the tree, and it was really poison ivy - it was confusing, there were several different plants in the area and some of them were real. Anyway, I unexpectedly got poison ivy very badly from one of the 'test' plants, when I was expecting not to get any real poison ivy at all. Some of them really ARE a type of tree, though.

Anyway, so I still had this oil on my skin, and I sat down in my recliner, which got it on the recliner. I also must have rubbed some of it onto my hand or arm, because I transferred it to the computer mouse and a little bit of the table near there. For several weeks, I was having new outbreaks of rash in different places, and I had to figure out where it was coming from. I solved the problem by shampooing the recliner with a rug shampooer and furniture attachment thing that I rented from the grocery store, and I washed off the mouse and the table edge where I kept getting it on my wrist and hand.

Poison ivy is a very easy plant to use for demonstrating invisible herbal oil residues. Ephedra is extremely effective, too, because the symptoms are so horrible, so intense, and so intolerable, but it is also too dangerous to use if you are trying to safely demonstrate the reality of herbal drug residues to someone who doesn't believe in them. Poison ivy is much safer, and it is commonly found everywhere. Poison ivy is familiar and well known, and people will be less skeptical and less disbelieving if you demonstrate something familiar to them. After that, you have to move up to drugs that are more subtle, harder to detect, like St. John's Wort. Once you get the general idea that plant oils leave their residues on your clothing and belongings, and those residues last forever and ever without decaying or disappearing, and they go through your skin, causing health problems and mood swings and unexplained symptoms, then if they believe that general idea, they can learn to accept that this is happening everywhere all of the time with a wide variety of drugs and chemicals and other substances, but some of them are more obvious and more harmful than others.

I was taking Peter to the doctor a few months ago. In the office, I saw the mother of my friend's ex-girlfriend (his son's grandmother). I don't know what she goes to the doctor for - I know almost nothing about her. However, I have seen and heard a few things. He told me that she brainwashed his ex-girlfriend to believe that all men are evil. I already mentioned reading Warren Farrell's books, so that's something I've heard of before. Next, I saw her once at the self-checkout with a couple of kids, and she was griping and complaining about every little thing, and nothing in particular, saying 'you're doing it wrong, do it like this,' and so on, and it was extremely trivial, constant nagging. And then, I saw her recently, and she was extra-super-friendly. She said to me, 'That pizza smells really good! I could smell it all the way across the store!' I had just cooked a pizza and taken it out of the oven. I recognized her tone of voice, and her behavior of talking about nothing in particular in an extremely positive way, like 'yay! the world is a wonderful place! everything is lovely and great!' as a drug-induced cheerfulness, exactly like when I myself am using St. John's Wort and I'm extra-friendly and super-optimistic about everything being wonderful. She had EXACTLY that same behavior and mood. So I think she's using prescription antidepressants. I've used the drugs myself and I know how to recognize people who are extra-cheerful and friendly because of drugs.

This concerns me a little bit because prescription psychiatric drugs leave residues too. I didn't think they did at first. I thought it was only herbal oils. But I've gotten skin absorption from that anti-anxiety drug, Abilify, from several different people, and have gotten it on my clothing from being around people who are using it. So I assume that antidepressants leave residues too. My theory is that they are excreted through the skin of the person using them, so that person's sweat or skin oils leave the drugs on everything they touch.

If you have contact with these drugs, and then leave the area, change clothes, take a shower, and all that, you will then go into withdrawal from prescription antidepressants. Fortunately, it will be a low dose. But this drug-and-withdrawal cycle causes unexplained mood swings and also drug side effects. His ex-girlfriend might have become emotionally, psychologically unstable because of low-level exposure to drugs. It's only a theory. Not only that but my friend himself might have had contact with the drugs and been affected by them. Those drugs and the withdrawal will cause strange moods - I think of this whenever I remember that he was at his ex-girlfriend's house when he got drunk and then went driving his car into the woods and got arrested for drunk driving. That restless feeling of having to go somewhere, and being more upset than usual, or crying, or being angry or depressed or whatever, can be made worse by a drug exposure. It can also make people start fighting and arguing over nothing. Again, I say 'it's only a theory.' It's something that I am slightly concerned about, something which could possibly happen.

As far as I know, I am the only person on earth who has this theory - I've never seen anybody else, anywhere, writing about this particular type of environmental illness or chemical sensitivity. Chemical sensitivity bloggers always write about, for instance, exposure to bleach fumes or perfumes. They have never, as far as I know, written about absorbing other people's drugs through their skin. The closest thing I saw was in a book in my Google books library called 'Breaking Free From Environmental Illness' where I saw some pages mentioning how he had to wash the laundry dozens of times to get something out of it. I had the same experience. But I never saw anything in there about drugs going through the skin. It's important to mention that he and his wife BOTH worked in the medical profession. They would be exposed to drugs that CAUSE multiple chemical sensitivity.

How can a drug cause multiple chemical sensitivity?

Some drugs interfere with metabolism. What is metabolism? Metabolism might be the wrong word, so don't take my word for this, but I think it means, how your body breaks down drugs and poisons, and gets them out of the body in the urine, feces, or sweat, or any other way out of the body. Breaking things down into less toxic substances. That's the general idea.

Some drugs change your metabolism so that you can't break down other drugs and poisons anymore. Those poisons will then become much more poisonous and dangerous, because your body can't process them the way it's supposed to.

If drugs go through the skin, and if you are a healthcare employee, you are exposed to low levels of every single drug that has ever been used by anybody who has gone to that hospital, sat in that waiting room on that chair, etc. And this is true: when I went to the doctor because of my chest pains, I came home with new drugs on my skin and clothing, because I've learned how to recognize that they are there. I wasn't born knowing how to feel drugs going through my skin. It's something I learned after terrible experiences with ephedra and other extremely dangerous drugs.

So the people who wrote this book might have become extremely sensitive BECAUSE OF their everyday drug exposures at the workplace. They would get low levels of drugs that cause you to become sensitive to other drugs.

Again, that's only one theory of what causes multiple chemical sensitivity. There could be other causes - for instance, vaccines might do something to you. Viruses might do it too. I started having lots of strange problems after Eric and I both had some weird virus that lasted several weeks, and a lot of other people in town also had this virus. It caused extremely severe fatigue. There was a very specific symptom that we all had: Our head and neck felt heavy, and you didn't want to hold your head up. 'Not being able to hold my head up' was something everyone described. I also had digestive problems and a painful, swollen feeling in my liver area, for several weeks. After that, I was never the same again. This is exactly the same story that a lot of other people will tell when they talk about having chronic fatigue. (Chronic fatigue, environmental illness, and chemical sensitivity all go together.) I know it wasn't mono, because I went to the doctor to get tested for mono, and they said I didn't have it.

Anyway, I'm really curious to know if anybody, anywhere, has written about this theory that I'm describing. I want to know if anybody is having the same experience, the same observations. And if anybody was curious about it, I could easily set up demonstrations to prove that it's true, to give someone else the same experiences that I've had. It doesn't depend on faith. It has to be demonstrated. The first demonstrations would be done with something safe, like poison ivy, which is an uncomfortable nuisance, but not life-threatening. (However, poison ivy can kill you if you burn it in a bonfire, and then breathe the smoke, which will cause your throat and lungs to get swollen until you can't breathe. I've heard of this happening.)

It isn't just 'chemicals.' I can use bleach without any problems, unless somebody does something blatantly stupid like fill up a mop bucket with large amounts of bleach and then mop the entire floor with all the windows and doors closed - somebody did that once, I forget where we were, I forget if it was at work or if it was something Eric did at home - but the bleach fumes were enough to make me feel sick and get a headache. Other than that, I can use bleach sprays and not have any problems. So it's very hard to explain to anybody what I'm talking about whenever I say that there are 'chemicals' on my clothing that I'm reacting to - they always say, 'Oh yeah, I have a friend who's sensitive to bleach and perfumes, blah blah.' I have to make a long story short whenever I try to tell people that I'm sick because of a 'chemical' that's on some of my belongings.

********

I had coffee today again. I didn't want to. I was sleeping all day. Then Peter called. I had been awakened by the murderers already. Peter needed to go to the grocery store. First I went to the gas station and bought a coffee. Then I picked him up and took him to the grocery store, and I drank my cup of coffee while I waited in the car. I told him I was exhausted and not feeling well and I didn't feel like walking around.

Peter seemed fine and energetic. He seemed so energetic, I didn't even bother ASKING him what his blood sugar was when we left. (Yes, you can feel the suspense building up, can't you? LOL) However, I didn't know that Peter's blood sugar had been at 57, and he'd just had a soda to bring it back up. And after having the soda, he did a bolus of two units of insulin to compensate for the soda, which he shouldn't have done.

I need to tell you about Peter and his diabetes. Peter does a blood sugar test every two hours. If you tell him to do another test, he absolutely WILL NOT take another test until two hours have gone by. Why is that bad? Why does that bother me so much? Because a lot of times, he will drink only a little bit, like one can of soda, and it isn't enough, and he refuses to drink anymore, so he'll sit there with low blood sugar that's getting lower and lower and crashing, and he refuses to take another test to show himself that it's still low and hasn't gone up yet. You have to eat or drink something, then take another test like ten minutes later to see if your blood sugar has gone up at all. He won't.

Not only that, but he also has something called 'hypoglycemic unawareness.' When he gets too much insulin, and his blood sugar goes too low, he DOESN'T KNOW that anything is wrong, and he loses his judgment. So he'll do something that he shouldn't do: He'll take a test, see that his sugar is low, drink ONE CAN of soda (which isn't enough), and then DO SOME MORE INSULIN because he just drank a can of soda.

What should he do instead? Drink the soda, wait for it to kick in, and then, a long time later, do some insulin ONLY IF his sugar starts to go up high. He doesn't need to 'prevent' his sugar from climbing too high the instant that he drinks a soda. He can just wait for it to happen, then do the insulin only if his sugar gets high.

But when he's low, when he's crashing, he does this automatically without thinking, because he's lost his judgment. He's in the habit of automatically doing insulin after eating or drinking anything. (And the murderers want me to mention that he might possibly be getting forced to do the insulin while he's vulnerable and unable to stop himself.)

Here is what he needs. He needs an insulin pump which is also constantly monitoring his blood sugar. If his blood sugar is below 100 (in other words, if he already has had too much insulin, and is starting to get insulin poisoning), the insulin pump should automatically refuse to allow anybody to do extra insulin. It should be unable to do any more insulin at that time.

Why don't we have this invention already? Because the FDA... don't get me started. The FDA makes it ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE to invent or create anything medical, even if it's something very simple that's based on technologies that already exist. We already have ways to monitor blood sugar, and we already have ways to pump insulin directly into the skin, but because of the FDA, we don't have any cheap devices that are able to do both of those things at once. We should have had that YEARS ago.

Diabetes: This is how it works. The pancreas gets damaged, for whatever reason, and it can't produce its own insulin anymore. Without insulin, the sugar level in the blood goes higher and higher, which causes severe health problems and eventually death. So we give them synthetic insulin to make the blood sugar go lower. It works, but they have problems when they get TOO MUCH insulin. Then their blood sugar goes extremely low, which causes you to lose your judgment, become unable to talk or think or move, and just act strange, or pass out, or have seizures.

So today I was sitting in my car drinking coffee, and then resting with my eyes closed, waiting for Peter to come back out of the grocery store. I wasn't the least bit worried.

Then I heard the ambulance siren. Again, I'm still not that worried. It sounded like the ambulance was just driving by, on its way someplace else. But then, the siren stopped, and I heard the sound of a large heavy vehicle driving into the grocery store parking lot. I opened my eyes and saw the ambulance in front of the building. (I'm sitting here laughing as I tell this story.)

I got up and ran inside, knowing right away who the ambulance was for and what was happening. I followed the paramedics to the aisle where the magazines were. Peter was sitting on the floor next to the magazines, surrounded by paramedics. Some lady was there holding a bottle of Mountain Dew for him.

'I thought you looked okay when you left,' I said, and I crouched down next to him. The Mountain Dew lady said, 'Are you with him? Here, I'll let you take this,' and she handed it to me and she stepped aside.

The paramedics started testing his blood sugar and feeding him tubes of glucose. His blood sugar was extremely low - I forget how low, I think it might have been 27. (100 is the normal level.) He was still able to talk, and he wasn't having a seizure. But he couldn't stand up. So we all surrounded him and they gave him glucose tubes, one after another. The paramedic said he gave him five tubes, and he had the empty containers there, but Peter claimed he only had three. Then, after those five, they gave him another big tube of glucose, so he had five small ones plus one big one. Then he had the Mountain Dew, also. By the time they were done, his blood sugar was up at 83.

This weekend, he had already had three ambulance calls in a 36-hour time period, and one time, they took him to the hospital. So the paramedics were all joking with him about how they were going to move into the apartment next door to him so they would be right there. They all know him by name because he gets so many ambulance calls for low sugar.

After his sugar finally went back up, it was like 45 minutes later. We had to wait a long time. It might have been even longer than that. The paramedics said they'd be in the store a couple of minutes because it was dinnertime and they all wanted to get something to eat. They said 'just call us if you need us again,' and one of them said 'if you can't find him, just follow the "no's".' If you've ever heard him or another diabetic having a low sugar incident, you'll get this joke - they start saying 'no' to everything over and over again, you tell them to stand up and they say 'no,' you tell them to drink this Mountain Dew or eat this glucose and they say 'no.' (It happened to Julia Roberts on the movie Steel Magnolias, if I recall correctly.)

This might all be scary to someone else, and it used to be scary to me, but I've gotten used to it, and it ended up being funny. He didn't have a really bad reaction - no seizure, no signs of suffering. It DOES bother me a lot if he has a seizure. I've only seen two of those. That really is scary. He starts making these repetitive movements and loud noises. He usually doesn't even remember it afterwards, except one time, he did tell me that he remembered it.

So that was why I ended up going to Barnes & Noble Books around 8:00 instead of 7:00 like usual.  I had a feeling that if anybody ever considered actually meeting me there, they would have been forced to go there today, on the ONE DAY when I didn't show up on time.  (The only other time I didn't show up was when we had a blizzard.)  I am always there at the same time, but the one day when I was late would be the day that all the puppets would be forced to go there looking for me hoping I'd be there.  And I am not joking, I'm serious:  that's the kind of crap that 'they' force to happen.

And again, 'they' want me to mention that he could have been forced to do the extra insulin, because he was vulnerable and had no judgment at the time.

********

'They' pointed out the similarity between the 'slips' of my skin against a surface, versus the 'slips' of one tectonic plate (is that what it's called? I'll have to go read about it, I might be saying the wrong name) against another one, causing an earthquake and a tsunami. It's much larger. I don't know where the weapon would be located, whether it was located on a satellite, or somewhere on earth, but it would obviously have to be bigger and stronger, to make plates in the earth's crust 'slip' against each other that way. But in theory, yes, it's doing the same thing. The slips happen whenever one object is pressed against another one, and friction keeps them together so they don't move. The attackers do something to that surface so it vibrates, or something. It might be a sonic attack - that makes more sense to me, it seems like it would be easier to do this using sound waves, but it might possibly be electromagnetic.

I'm reading 'The Subtle Knife' and they mentioned that in the 1980s, the United States and Russia were competing to install radar things all over the Arctic, or something - I forget what they said - during the 'Star Wars' era. 'Star Wars' is what President Reagan called it, when they were competing against Russia to put up lots of satellites, and to protect our satellites against being shot down by other objects up in space, and to use the satellites to do things on earth that we probably shouldn't talk about and don't want to know about. And I don't know any details. I'd have to read about it again to see what exactly was going on in the Cold War and Star Wars and what kind of radar things were being installed and where. I've just read bits and pieces about it over the years. It's enough to suspect that they're able to create a large-scale, high-power attack big enough to cause an earthquake.

'Being able to suspect things.' I'd like to explain what I mean by this. When I first started getting harassed and attacked, I was trying to convince family and friends and my ex-boyfriend to believe that it was real, and nobody believed me. They didn't know how to follow the line of reasoning that I used. They can't imagine that anybody would be that evil, or that such things would be going on and the mainstream world wouldn't know about it, or the TV stations aren't warning us about this, and the public hasn't had a rebellion against the government because of it.

They can't imagine what people are able to do whenever they have INFINITE amounts of money from their own printing presses - the government printing presses - and the computers and the banking system used to create as much money as they want - plus all the taxes they collect - and we can't say 'no' to the taxes, because they are automatically taken out of our paychecks. They have an infinite amount of money, and decades and decades of time to do whatever they want. They can research anything, they can build anything, they can afford to make it as huge and powerful as they want, and not bother telling the public about it, and keep it someplace where nobody ever goes, someplace isolated, like the Arctic, where ordinary people aren't able to just go outside and take a walk and accidentally stumble upon some big military equipment thing that doesn't belong there. Nobody ever goes and takes a walk in the Arctic. You can do whatever you want out there, and *NOBODY* *EVER* *WILL* *FIND* *YOU*. (Sorry about all the caps lock and the stars.)

This is similar to the 'flat earthers' argument. There are some people who, sort of as a joke, but possibly seriously, talk about the idea that maybe the earth really is flat, for real, and the government and the school system and everybody has been lying about it all this time. How would you yourself ever find out whether the earth was flat? Ordinary people don't have the time or the money to go take a trip around the globe. Only a few people can afford to actually go on a vacation and fly around the globe to prove, for sure, that you'll come back to the place you started from. And I agree with that idea. I'm not a 'flat earther,' I don't believe the earth is flat, but I get the general idea: there are a lot of things that the media and the public schools and the government says are true, but the average person just can't possibly go find out for themselves whether it's really true. And maybe a few people DO go see it, but the government is able to shut them up. For instance, satellite maps on the internet are NOT ALLOWED to show pictures of certain objects in certain places, for security reasons. You can't use Google Maps to go look up in the Arctic and see the military buildings up there, or something.

By the way, the 'radar installations in the Arctic' was something mentioned in a fiction book, and I actually can't remember the details of what kinds of military buildings have been put up in the Arctic, or wherever. I'm sure we have SOMETHING up there, for instance, a project called 'HAARP.'

Anyway, I'm going to post this even though it's not really finished. Maybe I'll read a little bit about Star Wars.

I am not going to be 'stuck' forever. There is a drug that I am reacting to. I have done SOME troubleshooting by getting rid of the cardboard by the computer, but I still need clean clothes and I still need to put a new cover on the bed. Nobody else has ever talked about drug residues going through the skin, so nobody believes me about this, but still, I insist that this observation is true. I will do what I have to do to fix the problem. It takes a while, but it will happen.