Tuesday, September 28, 2010

i want

9:52 PM 9/28/10

I want to know people who see me as so special and so irreplaceable, so unique, that they notice when I am gone. They say that I made a difference, that I was somebody important. That the world will never be the same without me. Whatever Curtis is, he's not that. He doesn't care about not seeing me - it doesn't matter to him if he sees me or not. It doesn't matter to him what I do or where I go. I don't know what he sees when he looks at me, but he doesn't see my value as a human being. He thinks that I'm somebody he can just ignore, and that being friends with me is nothing. That's why I am not looking at them anymore - I'm seeing him as a dangerous liar instead of a good person. Like he wants to cause pain and suffering for the people who love him. I think that's how Kayla sees him, too, but she isn't able to leave him, because she has his son, and they will always be connected because of that, and he's paying her child support. I don't want to see him that way. I want to see him as a good person. But he keeps ignoring me and I can't see someone as a good person if they ignore me and disrespect my wishes when I ask them to block me from seeing their page. They didn't seem to believe me when I said I would be writing emails to people like Kayla and causing problems. They didn't take me seriously. I am trying to stop that from happening.

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