I know that the last post I wrote is a sensitive subject right now, so I wanted to mention that I talked about it for the purpose of expressing sympathy, and sadness that such a thing would happen, and also, to mention my own mental rules and advice that I have used all along to protect myself.

However, it seems that the world is extra-paranoid after an event like that happens in the news. And it's very hard to argue against paranoia when it's directed at me. Sometimes people get scary ideas in their heads and no matter how calmly and rationally you try to communicate with them, they continue to mis-perceive you.

Other times, a person communicates with you, even though they are afraid to talk to you, for their own reasons. Direct communication is the thing that I appreciate so much for resolving conflicts. I appreciate it and I am grateful, to people who have communicated with me.

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And yes, meanwhile, my own life is going on, and I have things to do. I'm cleaning my house today to prepare it so the landlord can show it at 3:00 PM today. And I am picking up Peter from dialysis at 3:15; he is expecting me to be there, and I look forward to seeing him and getting to spend a few minutes in the car with him, since I don't get to see him often enough. (I never did get the chance to tell the story of what happened when I drove him to Altoona to get his surgery. I'll have to save that one for another day.)

The other positive thing going on in my life is: learning how to use Craigslist. It's wonderful to know that you can just put an ad someplace, asking for something, and a random person out there will respond. And real people are actually answering. Not merely to chat, but to get things done in the real world. This is an empowering feeling. I have actually met real people who are willing to help me out in the real world, in addition to a relatively new friend who I met as a customer shopping where I work - he's the person who's helping me clean the house today. Meeting real people who support you when your life is a mess - that's a great thing. That is another thing that I am grateful for.

So in spite of today being a bad day in a lot of ways, I won't be alone while I'm cleaning the house, I'll have a friend there with me who's helping out. I don't have everything that I need at this time in my life, however I am looking forward to continuing to meet more people willing to get to know me and work with me.