Thursday, April 16, 2009

social networking is my job

this is more like a tweet and less like a blog.

i have an embarrassing sunburn on my face. there's no word to describe it. it isn't a 'farmer's tan,' or 'raccoon eyes,' but something else. maybe it's the 'weirdo's tan' or something. i was lying outside with my hair covering my eyes. hair is a very effective sunblock. but i didn't cover everything symmetrically, so i have a big round blotch of sunburn on my forehead, and then each cheek is slightly burned, but unevenly.

actually, it's not a tweet anymore, it's a blog. i am thinking about twitter, the concept behind it, and wondering how it is different from any other type of blogging or chatting. but i won't get into that right now. there ARE differences. edward de bono taught me that people tend to dismiss something new by saying 'oh, that's just like X, which already exists.' but there are always some subtle differences if you look for them.

i have internal conflicts because i can't pay my own rent right now - my parents are now paying it. i was too sick through all of winter, but technically, i'm not quite that life-or-death sick anymore, except i don't want to go back to work. i might get a second job on the weekends. but i am still overwhelmed, and yes, there is still a mold problem even with the windows open.

i am observing how my body feels, the sickness and the symptoms and the fatigue. there is still mold that i'm breathing.

anyway, i have been spending a lot more time sending and receiving emails. social networking is becoming more like a full-time job. this is the workgroup. it's only just beginning, and i have hardly done anything at all yet. people bartering labor for labor, aiming towards activities that require LESS money instead of more money.

and it's all still very informal, and unbalanced. i have one friend who hasn't really gotten the idea yet. he still thinks that he is supposed to do more for me than i am doing for him. i even attempted to pay for a meal whenever we went out to eat, and while i was counting out my cash, and also arguing with him about paying for it, he physically got up, walked away, and quickly paid for it at the counter before i was able to get up fast enough. i tried to pay for the meal because i was trying to repay him for several favors he had already done for me. he has installed some expensive computer equipment for free - he gave me two zip drives and a bunch of zip disks. (he bought the stuff cheaply, but still.) i haven't reached the 'prostitute' stage yet, and therefore, i don't want guys to give me lots of stuff in exchange for hanging out with them as platonic friends, which is what this guy and i are doing, and we haven't talked about the fact that i don't want to have a sexual relationship with him. he doesn't have to pay money in exchange for my platonic friendship. it is difficult to focus on what goals i am trying to achieve, and get other people to go along with them, and cooperate to do the same things i am trying to do. i'm not working in the same business model that he is.

i would like to reach out to more females, who will get the 'platonic' idea more easily, but i am already overwhelmed with just communicating and contacting the couple of people i am already starting with. some of this came from a dating website, and some of it came from a craigslist ad, and i would like to use myspace and maybe facebook (if i have the patience to wait three minutes for the pages to load - okay, that's only certain pages, and only if i've deleted my cache).

anyway, twitter would be something that i would look at for communicating brief messages like 'i reached the worksite and we've gotten started.' 'oh no, help, the serial killer is chasing me,' and so on. yes, that thought has crossed my mind. i am not going out and meeting people alone. my friend talked with me and he said he might be willing to go along with me to work meetings. (i have a feeling that 'the serial killer is chasing me' wasn't my own thought, but i agree, it's something that i am afraid of whenever i meet new people, so having someone with me would make me feel better. i really am actually scared of meeting serial killers or wackos. it's funny, but it's also not funny. i thought i should remove it but i've already written this paragraph.)

so... social networking, my full-time job, along with blogging.

asking 'what do you need?' what will make your life easier? what will improve your health? what will bring you a nutritious meal every day, at a low price? what will give you long-term security and a stable life? what important projects are you postponing? what difficult tasks are you ignoring because they're overwhelming and you can't bear to even look at them? what is on your to-do list?

it's modeled on what i read in diana leafe christian's books about intentional communities. it was also inspired by 'your money or your life,' which my dad gave me several years ago - WARNING! i totally disagree with something in that book now! he says you should invest in t-bills and try to earn interest. 'earning interest' doesn't exist, so, don't do that. but you can do everything else in the book. i still love the book, because the overall spirit is still true. it says: don't spend your money to buy more and more junk, but instead, save it to buy things that are really very important to you, such as: taking several months time off work, for instance. if you saved a few thousand dollars, you could take a couple months off work and still pay your bills. and while being off work, you could really enjoy life for real, and be well rested. that kind of thing. so that is also some of the inspiration behind the workgroup.

also, after all the years of reading austrian economics, and antal fekete, and anarchist beliefs, and with all that i know about money, i feel an intuitive sense that money doesn't really EXIST right now. i just have this feeling that there is no such thing as capital. i have a feeling that nobody, anywhere, can afford to waste money, and that people who think they have a lot of money right now really don't, or they soon won't in the future. and borrowing money is a very bad idea. (at the same time, i'd say that people in college might as well finish.) and i have a feeling that nothing is profitable, no startup businesses. and the property taxes are still very high from the real estate bubble/housing bubble - so if your business operates out of an 'office' instead of your own house, then you have huge expenses - and nothing is profitable enough to pay the rent and the taxes and all that on a storefront. (at least, where i live.) i don't know how to explain it, but i feel sure that it's important to avoid spending money on whatever tasks we do, and instead, find a way to do them informally with friends.

to do: acquire an auto mechanic. some person who can fix cars. that will be really helpful in a workgroup like this. cars are productive capital. they are one of the most commonly owned types of productive capital equipment that there is. same category as a machine in a factory - productive capital, whatever you use to produce something. you use cars to do work.

yeah, this was a blog, not a tweet.

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