they're wondering if martin is a type six? since i never got to spend enough time with him to know much, i can't say for sure. i reread his old emails (grand total, a whopping five of them).
i remember whenever i first started emailing him, back when he was still responding. i remember that i was contaminated with drugs (from the seeds i had handled in 2007) at the time, but at one point, it seemed like somebody gave me more drugs that were not my own. i remember that i was writing emails to him, and getting word-for-word dictation of what i would say.
he started avoiding me and looking at me suspiciously, very soon after i started emailing him. he was showing negative emotions very early on - pain, fear, suspicion, distrust, humiliation - and i can't stand to read those early emails that i wrote to him. i KNOW that a lot of the emails that i sent to him were the word-for-word dictation crap.
i really enjoyed the few emails that i got from him. i read them again tonight.
i can't make him trust me whenever i have said so many puppet words in the past.
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