asking for an emergency vacation

3:17 PM 5/4/11

I've put a note in the schedule bucket asking for a two week vacation. I don't think the manager has picked it up yet. We have this big white bucket in the break room where you put all of your schedule requests so they don't get lost or get piled up in the wrong places.

I haven't told my parents that I'm asking for a vacation. I haven't offered to go anywhere or visit anyone. Instead, I need to stay here and work on my dozen disasters and make changes. My chronic fatigue has been totally out of control, and all I can do is get up and drag myself to work every day. I can't do anything else but that, except for sitting in front of the computer and typing a whole bunch of blogs every day. I have to fix the things that are causing the problems, and I have to go through my belongings, mostly, and I need to decide what I am going to do, because I have to make extreme changes in my life.

I'm considering that I might move all of my stuff out of the apartment - and I don't have a lot in here - into another storage unit. I have one storage unit now, but it's full and messy in a disorganized way and all the stuff is contaminated. I'd like to get a temperature-controlled storage unit and put all my computer stuff in there. Then I will be ready to move someplace else, because I can't stay here and live like this. I might have to move back to the State College area, or I might transition to living in my car, or something. I can't do this while having chronic fatigue, and I can't kill myself by getting a second job so that I can make enough money to fix the car and all that. There are too many disasters at one time, and I am too sick to make any changes.... so, an emergency two week vacation. I hope it works.

I won't have enough money to pay the rent the next month after the vacation, since I won't have made any money for two weeks, but I don't care. I just don't care about anything. I will ask mom and dad for money or something. Or I'll have all my stuff moved out and they can just evict me if they have to. I have to change something, desperately.

Oh, the bookkeeping thing: This guy said we were supposed to meet each other at 9:30 at a particular restaurant in town, on Saturday, and he never showed up. I called him and he never called back... I emailed him too and he never emailed back... so, that one apparently didn't work out. I think it wasn't the right time for him. He said he needed a bookkeeper to help with the paperwork, but he also needed a bunch of guys to help him with the lawnmowing itself, and that was more urgent. He may have just found another person to do the paperwork. He is overwhelmed with so much work - that's what I understand from talking to him on the phone - that he can't do anything except crash when he gets home in the evening. If it wasn't the right time to be working with the papers and the bills, and if he just needed to focus on getting more guys to help with the lawnmowing work itself - that's what I imagine is probably going on. He was desperate. He was totally overwhelmed with too much work.

So I'm not bugging him or anything, I'm just not worrying about it right now. I'll just try again, because I need to make more ads and do this a different way.

But for now... I think I will use the vacation, if I'm allowed to do that - I don't know if I'm allowed to do a two week vacation or not, but this is an emergency, and I really, really need to do it, so I will talk to the manager and see what kind of arrangements we can make - I will use the vacation to move all my stuff into a temperature-controlled storage unit... I hope. Then I can go from there. So I will then have two storage units, one that isn't temp-controlled, with all my severely contaminated stuff in it, and another one that has my computer stuff in it, and I will have to sort through the stuff and get rid of as much of it as I can. Fortunately, I never bought much furniture. There are just lots of cardboard boxes with random junk in them and it's not easy to go through.