pain

3:21 PM 10/14/10

Constant Pain

When it's raining outside I notice the pain the most. I notice it if I was sweeping or mopping at work the night before. Large areas of my body are in constant pain. It's a mild, low-level pain, and usually I'm not even aware that I'm in pain. But it makes me lie in bed all day instead of getting up. And I drink lots of coffee because that tends to reduce the pain.

Today I took two ibuprofen tablets. I don't like to use ibuprofen. It messes up my stomach very badly for at least a whole day. I get reflux up my esophagus and other problems.

I have the sore muscles, sore joints, and burning skin feeling today. The burning skin feeling is strange. It might be from the skin touching my clothing. It might be related to my lungs and breathing, because supposedly the acupuncture meridians connect the skin with the lungs somehow. All of the skin on large areas of my body is burning constantly, and I don't notice it because it's mild and low-level. But it makes me unwilling to do anything, and since I'm not really aware of it, I can't explain why all I want to do is sleep, and why I keep drinking coffee over and over.

If I could get rid of my pain I would be able to do a lot more work of all kinds. Long ago, I would have been an opium addict, back in the days of Edgar Allan Poe.

Marijuana has anti-anxiety effects. Curtis was posting links about marijuana on his page, and I read it, and it was rather technical. Anti-anxiety drugs will cause you to make prolonged eye contact with strangers. Looking people in the eye too much can cause them to fall in love with you, which is what happened with me and Curtis. If he hadn't looked me in the eye, I wouldn't have noticed him anywhere near as much. I know this from my own use of St. John's Wort - it drastically changes how much I look people in the eye. Everyone becomes more friendly to me when I'm on the drug, and part of it is because I make prolonged eye contact with people. Marijuana then probably does the same thing.

I am thinking of marijuana because it's said to reduce pain. I don't want to have too much of an anti-anxiety effect. I'd rather not change my personality and my social behavior that much.

The ibuprofen only worked a little bit. I took two pills. It's not quite the right thing for me. I use it for menstrual cramps, and it works for that, but it's not really working for my weather-sensitive, food-sensitive, unexplained all-over muscle and joint pain. I don't recover from work - I didn't work very hard yesterday, and I only swept the floor a little bit, but my arms and shoulders are in such pain today as though I worked really, really hard.

My life would be very different if I weren't in constant pointless unexplained low-level pain.