ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH! I can't take the online test for my job application! It expired!

Not only that, but I am using the latest internet explorer on my brand new laptop, but when I type words into this box, they are invisible! I had to switch it to the 'HTML' view instead of the 'visual' view so that I could see what I was typing. This is one of those days when I hate the internet. I hate all the 'progress' in our technology which actually makes everything more complicated and more prone to malfunctioning.  I want computers and web pages that actually work!

Okay, here is what happened.  After finally, finally motivating myself, after fighting neverending battles with 'them' because they won't let me achieve my goals, I have finally dragged myself to the library so that I could finish taking a test on a computer that would be compatible with their website. 

I have been trying to apply to Manpower again, the temp agency, so that I can start getting jobs doing bookkeeping.  I have no experience in bookkeeping except for doing my own books after reading a Schaum's Outline.  So I wanted to get temp jobs as a way to get experience. 

However, even the smallest and simplest goal is next to impossible to achieve when I am being controlled and sabotaged and they are actively preventing me from doing one thing and only one thing, and instead they suggest that I do a hundred different other things at the same time.  They have been making me start a thousand projects such as finding an IEE dual, while also postponing my job hunt, and my taxes, and everything. 

I have a bunch of IEEs in my email now and I need to answer some of their emails.  This is like a controlled experiment:  I controlled their sociotype, and now that they are all the same sociotype, I can clearly see their enneagram types!  Each IEE is different.  Each one has their own predominant mood and style.  I just figured out that this one is a Three today.  There's one who I'm not sure of - he has anxiety and laughter and nervousness - he's one of the earlier ones that I've already mentioned - and that might be Six-like behavior (but he also seems like a Seven).  But this one I am talking to today is clearly a Three.  He is interested in things having to do with achievement and self-improvement, and he seems to show disapproval, while also being afraid of disapproval, and while also being courageous enough to reveal the vulnerable things about himself.  He has the same mood and themes that I myself have, the self-revealing courage with humiliation and worthlessness and disapproval. 

Other IEEs have had other types - one, as I said earlier, has a sort of gloomy resigned theme, and he isn't achievement-oriented or image-conscious in the same way.  He isn't a Three.  He resembles a Nine.  RDL might resemble a Five - I say that he is doing Five-Like Behavior, studying and observing something, while also cutting back on all of his material needs, finding out all the things that he can live without, and observing people and telling everyone about what he sees, and doing original research.  (And sharing the research for free!)  I haven't emailed the other IEEs enough to guess their enneagram types yet.  RDL I just observed by reading his stuff online and haven't interacted with him yet, other than leaving a blog comment or two during a manic phase.  He is also doing Seven-Like Behavior, but I don't want to talk about 'Directions Of Disintegration' because I believe that that is a misleading idea and I'd rather not believe in it.  I think the enneagram should be viewed without the directions of integration/disintegration, at least for now, until somebody convinces me that they are real.

So I am sitting here in the library right now using my netbook, because I tried to go take the test and found out that my ticket expired because I applied at the beginning of February and this is now March and it took me that long to struggle and get moving. 

Maybe I will go home and answer all those emails instead.  I don't like to do that here in the library - I don't like fighting the battle of using the touchpad instead of the mouse, and hearing the shuffling and quiet conversations of the people moving around in the library - I like to sit at home with my earplugs in my ears while I'm thinking and writing. 

I'd like to experience an Activator EII now that I have found the IEEs.  They say he's like Fox Mulder from the X-Files.  I always loved Fox Mulder.  And behind it all, I have this feeling, this question, 'What are we going to do together?'  There's this feeling of impending... something.  Something that we could all do together.  Like create synergy by bringing everyone from the Delta Quadra into the same room together and then watching what happens.  There's an LSE who says, 'What are we waiting for?  Let's get to work!' and so we all start on some big project. 

I've met LSEs before - I encounter them at work quite often and I can think of a few right off the top of my head.  They are common in my job.  But I don't encounter lots of IEEs or EIIs there, so I have to experience these relationships to recognize what they feel like.  Fox Mulder does not work at McDonald's.  So there might be a future project of searching for EIIs now too.

The E's and the I's are the ones I was having trouble with.  You can have EII, but you can't have EEI.  IEE is valid, but IIE is not. 

Right:

IEE, EII

Wrong:

EEI, IIE

It's confusing.  I wouldn't have any trouble with it at all if I were able to think without being attacked, because I am, forgive me for bragging, but I am an almost perfect speller, and I used to win the spelling bee when in elementary school.  (I fell out of the regional competition when I spelled exhilarate as 'exhillerate.'  I still remember!)  I don't use spell check on the computer, so every once in a while, a typo slips by me.  (A couple blogs ago, I spelled the word 'suprised,' without an R, and didn't want to take the time and trouble of editing it after it was posted, because the edit screen takes a long time to load on my computer.)  When I studied Spanish in high school, I could spell the unfamiliar Spanish words perfectly too (but Spanish is about the easiest language on earth to learn.  Everything ends with 'a' or 'o.')  So I should be able to learn socionics easily.  I want to quickly type IEE or EII without the slightest instant of hesitation about whether it might be IIE or EEI.

I have to go to the bathroom because I've had caffeine.  Maybe I'll check and see if the Manpower lady has already emailed me back - it's possible she already did.  I asked her if she could renew my ticket.