I overdosed on ENFps today.

10:53 PM 3/1/11

Well, here is what I did today. I talked for several hours on the phone to an ENFp guy who responded to my ad asking for ENFps. This was the first phone conversation that I have had with them. I haven't talked on the phone yet to the other ENFp that has been emailing me.

I thought I was exhausted after that. But then I went online and I read what's-his-face's blog again, The Socionist, and he mentioned something about his activator being an LSE (did I get that right?  Now I'm all confused.  Maybe that wasn't what he said?  Now I'm probably totally wrong about all of this and I will write a big retraction tomorrow explaining that I totally misunderstood everything). So after a moment of confusion, I figured out that he is an ENFp, which explains why I had this desperate, intense, frantic desire to tell him infinite amounts of stuff at once, and why I was feeling that way from the very first moment that I started reading his web pages. I forget which web page I came from - it was socionics.com or socionics.us or something, and he is either the author of that page, or one author contributing to it.

Meanwhile, I am also having a drug residue reaction today, which has increased my excitement level and intensity level.

So I had to go write an inappropriate comment on his blog suggesting something to the effect of me wanting to have his ten children, or something like that, although that's not exactly what I wrote, lol.

Then he has also written about ascetiscism. He doesn't watch TV, he doesn't use a car, (and I'm jumping up and down frantically while reading this because these are all things that I agree with and want to do), they eat a healthy diet (I think he said he was married, and it doesn't matter, he is in Ukraine I think, I will never meet him), he doesn't have an internet connection at home! who does that sound like! I have gone through several phases of rejecting the internet and not having it at home, on purpose or by accident, and being happy about it not being there... He said all this stuff that I totally agree with.

What does this mean to me - well, first, after I clean up the drug residue that is triggering the reaction, I will calm down and go back to normal, but my brain is all overstimulated after talking on the phone several hours and then going online and reading even more material written by another dual who I didn't know was a dual. What it means to me is that there are people out there, people who exist, who agree with almost everything that I believe, everything that matters to me, everything that is important to me, and I know a 'secret code' that can help me find these people, and that if one person is like that, then others will be too, and I can find them. I don't have this much of an intense reaction to the guy I was talking to on the phone - my intense reaction was to the blog I was reading, after having already been on the phone several hours. I know that I will not meet this particular person, so I tell myself that if he exists, then someone else must exist too, and I know what I need to do to find them.

I will be back to normal after I clean off the drug and go get some sleep.

On the phone with the one guy he had said we should force ourselves to try to have an argument about something. I couldn't think of anything, but in reality, there are major things that I would argue about. I said that if we had children, then I would respond with physical violence if somebody tried to take my son away to get him circumcised - I would physically fight violently to prevent them from taking him. I would be screaming and hitting and biting like an animal. He agreed with my spirit on that, and said that he himself had had his son circumcised and had been there when it happened, and heard his son screaming. He said that in that situation, his grandfather (or some relative, I forget) had insisted that the son be circumcised.

There are other things now that I will argue about, in addition to circumcision. My arguments are about children, about their physical bodies. I got overexcited after reading that blog because it said to me that someone out there in the universe agrees with me about a lot of very important life-or-death things. There are more things that he did not write about (at The Socionist), which I thought of after getting off the phone with the one guy.

1. No vaccines for children or adults or anyone. This becomes a major issue, because it leads to: no public school. Public schools require vaccination, as far as I know. Retmeishka is an intentional religion, and one of the purposes of this intentional religion is to put strength behind us when we talk to the government and say things like 'My religion forbids me to vaccinate my children,' and 'My religion forbids people to be drafted into the army,' and things like that.

2. Do not give birth in a hospital. Make plans for what you will do if there is a life-threatening emergency. If there is no emergency, give birth at home. Breastfeeding is required and there is no alternative of any kind. Ignore anyone who says that this or that particular formula recipe is a good one. Find a wet nurse ahead of time to support you if there is difficulty.

3. Never give anyone dental fillings of any kind. There is no safe type of dental filling - all of them are extremely harmful, although mercury fillings are the worst. Do not use dental fillings at all. Use dietary methods to get rid of cavities and prevent them in the first place. Do not use orthodontics. Do not remove any permanent teeth, or any teeth at all unless they fall out by themselves.

I'm sure there are more that I'll think of.

It was the ascetiscism blog that excited me the most. I need to find a dual who agrees with me about all of those things, and lives nearby, and finds me physically attractive, who I also find attractive, who wants to have children with me. This is an almost total rejection of modern culture, an extreme lifestyle, and SOMEONE ELSE AGREES WITH ME ABOUT THIS!!! My brain is fried after too much dualism for too many hours. I don't even have enough energy left in me to write an email to the other guy who is expecting an email from me - I will have to do it later tonight or tomorrow morning or sometime.

Ichazo's instinctual stackings, 'info from the underground,' that website - the self-pres/social stacking is what I think I have. But then what's-his-name says that the SLI's 'type message' is 'live a healthy lifestyle,' that kind of thing - but I think that depends on your instinctual stacking. And I totally agree with it, too - that's the best description of my message that I saw. I should go chill. I also think that I might possibly be ovulating or getting ready to ovulate, because all of a sudden everything is all about having babies, for the past day or so.