Thursday, April 7, 2011

ABBA; Dennis the kerosene guy; dainty germ-phobic gay guys that I had crushes on; hyperactivity; the non-drinker's version of 'Raise Your Glass'; How will they write Halley's Concerto?

12:37 PM 4/7/11

Who is the next ABBA? I went out to get something to eat, and I heard 'Take A Chance On Me' on the overhead intercom at Sheetz.

It was actually Dennis of all people who gave me that CD. I had heard ABBA songs once in a while but I wasn't aware that I consistently loved or liked almost everything they did - I wasn't aware that I could just say I liked ABBA in general.

Dennis was the guy who used to go shopping at Weis. I was on sjw a lot back then, and I was much friendlier and more suggestible than I should be. 'They' decided to start up an artificial friendship between me and Dennis, and they wanted to try to get me to have sex with him. But I wasn't attracted to him, and also, he smelled like kerosene because of a problem in his trailer. He also was covered in some kind of unknown toxic residue that made me so sick and so angry and so moody that I could not touch him. I don't know what the chemical was. He was one of the people who made me decide absolutely for sure that I will never, ever, ever live in a house that uses fossil fuels like oil or kerosene or propane (even though I'm anti-peak-oil), merely because they are so toxic I can't bear to be around them. Every time I've lived in a trailer with those chemicals, I got sick. So Dennis smelled like that.

He eventually left, and I'm not sure where he went, and I'm not keeping in touch with him, but one of the nice things he gave me was the ABBA CD. I think it was one of the collections of their greatest hits. So actually, maybe not everything they wrote was that great.

I became curious about ABBA, because they had been something going on in my generation or just before it, and for whatever reason, I had never really been aware of them. I had heard other people raving about ABBA, and these were almost always gay guys. Yes, I have an unfortunate habit of getting crushes on gay guys. So, I associated ABBA with gay guys, so I was slightly annoyed by the idea of them, as I wondered if they might be sort of like those people singing 'In The Navy' or 'YMCA.' Gay guys liked 'Dancing Queen' because it contains the word 'queen.' That annoys me too. Just one word, one wrong word, and the song gets taken over by gay guys. These were often the theatrical, flaming gay guys, too (probably a socionic conflict for me, I'm guessing, although not necessarily).

In fact, Andrew, my old housemate when I lived with four other people at the Whitehall Road house, Andrew was gay, and I knew about the Myers-Briggs back then, and he told me he was an ENFJ. And I think he's one of the people who liked ABBA, but I'm not sure. He was dainty and sensitive and vegetarian, and I had a crush on him. But we didn't really understand each other.

I remember we had a fight one time. The fight happened as a result of my chemical-induced hyperactivity, but I don't think I would have been able to explain that to him. I had been eating those candy Easter egg things. It's like a malted milk ball with a crispy M&M coating around it. They are really, really good. They have the combination of the crunchy and chewy texture. I don't eat much candy at all anymore - I somehow broke that habit without consciously trying to - I think I started breaking that habit when I got on the Feingold Diet in the year 2000. (I'm only on an informal version of the diet now, not the strict version.) I hardly eat any candy at all, but I sometimes did back then.

Anyway, these candy eggs - yes, they're called Robin Eggs, I just remembered - are coated with a brightly colored paint. They are the worst possible thing that a food-sensitive Feingold kid could eat. After eating them, I became hyper, irritable, and impulsive, and I did things that I don't normally do - I did the type of things that hyperactive kids do that annoy their parents to insanity.

Andrew and I were having a discussion down in the family room, and I was drinking a glass of water. Andrew said something that irritated me, and we started arguing. In a moment of impulsive anger, I spit out a mouthful of water into his face.

He was horrified and offended and he was so upset that he had to get up and leave. He wouldn't talk to me for days. He has a germ phobia and so he was disgusted and violated because I had spit something out of my mouth into his face, so he felt like he was in danger of getting germs. It was just about the worst possible thing I could have done to him. (Kind of like if somebody vomited on me.)

I don't normally do things like that. Andrew and I talked about it later, as I apologized to him, and he himself observed that it was unusual behavior for me, and that I had never done anything like that to him before, and he usually trusted me, and he didn't understand why I had acted so strangely. I'm not sure if I was able to explain why, at the time. I understood it later on as having been caused by the candy eggs.

When I was a toddler, I was evil. I wasn't on the Feingold Diet yet. The Feingold Diet was on TV, on Donahue or something, and my parents saw it and decided to do it. It totally transformed my personality. I used to do cruel and abusive things like sitting on the cat and pulling its tail. Nowadays, animals love me and trust me instantly, almost all animals, although once in a while there might be one that doesn't, but it's not my fault. You would not be able to imagine that I was cruel and abusive as a child. Spitting water in someone's face, on impulse, is the type of thing I did when I was a child. That is typical Feingold kid behavior.

All of that reminiscing started because I was thinking of Andrew again, as he was one of the gay guys who I think liked ABBA.

I heard ABBA. Who will be the next ABBA? Is there another ABBA out there anywhere?

I also like almost everything I've heard from Katy Perry. For the past couple days, the radio songs have sucked, and I've flipped through the stations around and around and around without finding anything, until finally my car pulls into the parking lot of wherever I am going, and I give up and get out. But today, THREE songs played that I listened to, and I'm pretty sure all of them were Katy Perry. First I heard 'Raise Your Glass,' and then 'Firework,' and then that one I don't know the name of, 'Less Than Perfect,' whatever the name is. Am I correct - are those all Katy Perry? I could be wrong, but I thought they were.

'They' did something as I was singing along with 'Raise Your Glass' - they made me accidentally say 'raise your hand' once, and I realized, that would be the non-drinker's remake. It would be one of the few times when a singer would say 'raise your hand' and it wouldn't be annoying.

I wonder how they will write Halley's Fourth and Fifth concertos for Atlas Shrugged. Those were described as songs of joy. The 4th was a song of joy struggling to break free from torture, and the 5th was a song of success, of having broken free. I can't imagine a real person would be able to write them. They would have to use chord progressions. I learned how to understand chord progressions better because of reading 'Composing Music - A New Approach.' They will have to have some kind of real song playing for the sake of the movie. How many musicians competed to play the role of Halley? To do Halley's job? The song must have a melody, too, a singable melody, because Dagny hears the brakeman whistling it on the train.

I'm imagining that whatever song was written, it won't be as good as the one I imagined - the one I want to write.

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