Sensitivity: the compact fluorescents, and the wireless laptop

When I went to bed last night, my head still had the dizzy sick feeling. It's the same feeling that I had when I was being severely attacked years ago and they would burn me with a radio frequency while I was in my house. Those were intermittent attacks, not constant. I recognize the sensation, and it's the same as (man, this computer is so fast!!!! it's my Windows 98 computer and I'm typing and there's NO LAG between the moment when I push the keys on the keyboard, and the moment when the letter appears on the screen!) - anyway, I recognize the sensation, and it's the same as the radio frequency attacks. It also happens if I use my cell phone for a long time.

So I had insomnia for a while, and it wasn't because of drug residue and it wasn't because of being attacked. Cell phones, and now, as I've discovered, wireless laptops, do cause insomnia.

But the feeling didn't fade away quickly. I got out of bed at noon today, and my head still feels strange and burned inside. It still has that slightly sick feeling.

If I use the library to get online, I'll probably be using the WIRED computers more than my wireless netbook.

THEN, I also have a sunburn. It's not bad enough to be visible. But guess where I got my sunburn? From the energy saving compact fluorescent bulbs that I was sitting under for hours and hours and hours.

Those bulbs are the stupidest and most evil, misguided mistake ever. Have fun finding out what happens if you drop one and it shatters on the floor. But even if they don't shatter, they are still dangerous, as they emit harmful ultraviolet radiation. I literally get a sunburn from being under them for too long. I feel it most noticeably on my face, as that is where my most damaged and most vulnerable skin is.

The skin of my face is damaged because, I think (this is just my theory) that's where I used Retin-A a long time ago, for pimples, when I ought to have been taught instead how to troubleshoot pimples by changing your diet. The Retin-A burned and irritated my face all the time, so it was always red, for years and years. Now my skin is still more sensitive to sunburn than the skin anywhere else on my body - although, as I said, this is only a theory, and I could be noticing it just because the face is always exposed and the rest of the skin is mostly covered by clothing. So it might be only because my face is uncovered. But anyway I always feel the sunburn after sitting for hours under compact fluorescents.

I'm calling the bulbs 'stupid and evil.' However, I have to be careful what I say now, because I know for sure that RDL has beliefs about environmentalism, and I don't know all of the exact details of what those beliefs are. For instance, I don't know whether he thinks it's a good thing for the government to make a law requiring people to use compact fluorescents, or, at least, making the incandescent bulbs illegal, which is what they're doing. And I don't want the words 'stupid and evil' to be directed at RDL personally.

It's possible that sometime, I will get the courage to talk to him in the forum, although I don't know when that will happen, if it does, and I don't want to accidentally say things like 'stupid and evil' when talking about his beliefs about environmentalism. I disagree with parts of it, but I agree with some parts of it, too. Also, I need to mention that I don't agree with every single word that Julian Simon wrote, I just agree with the general idea and some of the specific arguments. But for instance, I believe pesticides are *MUCH MUCH WORSE* than Julian Simon thought they were, and I believe that they affect humans and animals very severely.

When I glance through things RDL has said, I see that we agree about a large part of it, but there are specific things we disagree about. I don't know where those disagreements lead to - they might lead to other, larger areas of major disagreement.

I'm deciding for sure that I will temporarily be off the net at home. I might not stay off for a very long time, but I will at least stay off long enough to focus on the important things I urgently need to do, and also, it might help break my habit of obsessing over a guy who I will never meet who lives in a different country and who I might not be able to have a real conversation with, comfortably, for 'non-socionic reasons,' such as, how quickly I can talk. I am sometimes too slow when I'm talking to people who are very intelligent. I can understand anything, as long as I have lots of time to sit there thinking about it, but I can't respond quickly and instantly. If someone gives me time to go reflect on something, then I can understand it, which is why I'm much better at writing than I am at having a real world conversation.

So anyway, a more difficult-to-use internet connection will reduce the cyberstalking behavior. I was able to look at his facebook, but I don't feel right about asking to be a facebook friend, as my feelings are too intense and my mood swings are too uncontrollable, and I could get into a manic mood or a sick mood or an upset mood, and write some horribly humiliating and inappropriate comment somewhere. Or I would be acting all familiar and intimate like I know him when actually we are strangers and I am merely a reader of his websites. I would try to monopolize the discussions, and I would write extremely long comments that took up lots of space and pushed other people out. And his wife is on there, and I don't want to feel her there in the background glaring at me and disapproving of me and being annoyed.