You don't have to open it. You can shut the browser and leave.

I also got an email reply from RDL about something I asked him, something personal. It would have given him an ethical challenge to be kind, friendly, respectful, and polite, while setting boundaries and maintaining appropriate social distance.

When I saw that the email had arrived, I felt sheer terror and did not want to open it. I read all my other emails first, and went to facebook and did a couple little things there, and read a new article, and blogged about Nathaniel Branden's friend suggestions, and then finally I came back to the email again. I looked at it again and closed my eyes and sat there. 'You don't have to open it. You can shut the browser and leave,' I thought. But I didn't want to do that either. I didn't want to open it, but I didn't want to not open it either.

Appropriate social distance to an emotionally unstable online dual who you cannot meet in the real world, someone who is not your wife, someone who clings to you and needs something desperately. How do you show kindness to this person without encouraging her or misleading her?

The email is still sitting there yet.